Room Together Jokes - 18 Hilarious Room Together Jokes

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A kid and his grandfather are sitting in the living room together

Grandma leaves to go to the grocery store "You boys behave.", she says.

Grandpa stands up once she leaves and says "Well I'm gonna grab a beer and enjoy myself now."

The grandson looks at him and asks "Hey Grandpa, can I maybe have a beer?"

Grandpa says "Well, ...

I put a black hole in my living room.

It's great. Really pulls the room together.

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A sadist and a masochist are in a room together

The masochist says "Hurt me!"

The sadist responds "No."

(Courtesy of my social 30-1 teacher)

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Two girls are setting up their new dorm room together.

One is from Georgia and the other is from Connecticut. The one from Connecticut has her mom there helping her put up some blinds. The one from Georgia asks, "Hey! Where y'all from?" The other girl replies, "We're from a place where we know not to end our sentences with prepositions." So the girl...

A musician, a lumberjack, and a mathematician were in a room together...

They made a log-rhythm.

What are Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Theresa May doing in a room together?

...playing bridge.

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If a cable news pundit, a reality TV personality, a political spin doctor, and a serial entrepreneur are all locked in a room together, who would be the first to realize they're of ?

The room.

I got a voting booth to decorate my house today

it really polls the room together

A husband and wife were having dinner on their 20th anniversary

The husband set down his fork and said "I was just thinking about how we got engaged. You remember?"

His wife said "Of course! My daddy caught us in my room together when we were eighteen! He said you'd better marry me or he'd send you to jail for twenty years!"

And the husband sighed...

Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.

So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted.
The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to wher...

I put up a hammock between two walls in my house

It really ties the room together

A contractor offered his client a choice of table tops made of various rock types.

Contractor: Here we’ve got some limestone. It’ll really bring the room together, man.

Client: I’m not too sure about that. It doesn’t wow me all that much.

Contractor: Well, I’ve got marble here. It’s pretty unique and could give you that one of a kind look you’re wanting.

Clien...

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Buddy is down to the final interview of finally realizing his lifelong dream of becoming an FBI Agent...

It’s down to him and 2 other candidates. The three candidates sit in a room together waiting to be called in for the final interview. The first candidate goes in only to reappear minutes later upset and storms out muttering something about “taking things too far”. The second candidate goes in, again...

Did you hear about the attempted murder?

Russel Crowe, Sheryl Crow and John Crow were all in a room together.

A little boy wants his toy,

A little boy wants his toy, so he walks up to his mother and says "Mom, give me my toy." His mother responds by saying, "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words and his mom gives him his toy.

The next day, the little boy starts kindergarten. At snack time, the littl...

An Italian guy, English guy and a Polish guy ...

.... are applying for the same job and they are all sitting in the waiting room together.

Interviewer is a middle aged man, opens the door and calls the English guy. They sit down and the interviewer asks
-The job you are applying for requires powers of observations. Make an observation a...

I was telling my friend about the new guy at our office.

Me: He’s a complete wuss, we went to the store room together and on entering he screamed “oh my god, a mouse, get it away from me!!”

Friend: Well I can kind of understand that. Some people have genuine phobias of mice.

Me: Five seconds after that he screamed “oh my god, a keyboar...

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Two men are in a mental hospital

They are in the same room together, bored shitless they pace up and down the room looking for something to do.

Man 1 says "Oh I know! Why don't we play shop keepers! I'll be the shop keeper and you be the customer."

Man 2 says "that's a great idea."
And so man 1 sits down a desk and...

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