Poor Man Jokes - 58 Hilarious Poor Man Jokes

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A poor man and rich man

The poor man asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The poor man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange th...

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A rich man and poor man are at a bar.

A rich man and poor man are at a bar, the rich man turns to the poor man, 'it's my 10 year wedding anniversary on Tuesday.'

The poor man looks astonished, 'it's my 20 year wedding anniversary on Thursday! What are you planning on getting her?'

The rich man goes, 'I'm getting her a...

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A poor man goes to a sex club

After standing in line to get in het gets to the doorman. "What can I get for $5" the poor man says.

"You can get into the mystery room" says the doorman and he proceeds to lead the poor man to a door. Once he opens the door he sees a big round chamber with in the middle a donkey with a small...

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A rich man & a poor man

There’s a rich man an a poor man sitting at a bar . Rich man says its my wife’s birthday day , i got her a big diamond ring an a Porsche . Poor man says why both ? Rich man says well I figured if she didn’t like the ring she could take it back in the Porsche an still be happy. Poor man says i got my...

A poor man was looking for a job

For weeks he couldn't find one, and he barely had any money left when he found a job at a company as a bathroom cleaner. He went to the office, and after discussing with the boss, he got the job "One thing," said the boss, "I'll need to send you our policy to sign via email". The man looked at him ...

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A rich man and a poor man are Christmas shopping

A rich man and a poor man are Christmas shopping on Madison Avenue when they run into each other and talk about the gifts they've bought their wives.

The poor man asks the rich man what he got his wife for Christmas and the rich man says "I got my wife a diamond ring and a Mercedes Benz" ...

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A rich man and a poor man were sitting at the bar, having a few drinks

They got to chatting and after a while, realised both of their wedding anniversaries were the next day.

Poor man : What did you get your wife then, for tomorrow?

Rich man : I got her a pink ferrari and a diamond ring.

Poor man : Wow, what made you choose those gifts?

...

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Poor man

Three men sat outside of a coffe shop in a spanish town, two of them are rich and the third is poor. As they sat there drinking their coffes a very attractive lady walks up to them and asks what they would give to sleep with her. The first rich man says "I would buy you a yacht, a sports car and a c...

Robin hood gave a poor man a bag of gold

“Here, poor man,” Robin hood smiled. “Take this bag of gold, I took it from a rich man.”

“Thank you so much!” The man said as he got a little teary. “Now I’m rich!”

Robin hood turned back to the man.

“You’re what?”

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A very poor man

decided his last resort was to write a letter to God. His family was going hungry. He was behind on all of his bills. He became unemployed, and started to grow ill. He wrote "Dear heavenly father. I've no other resources. No other place to turn. I don't ask for much. I really just need $1500 to catc...

(A joke I wrote myself) A Russian man walks through the streets of Moscow.

As he passes by the headquarters of a major company, he notices a poor man in decrepit clothes standing by the building, seemingly waiting for something, looking at the sky. "Another poor crazy weirdo", he thinks. He keeps on walking.

The next day, he passes near another company's HQ, and see...

My neighbor is a 90 year old with Alzheimer's, I see him every morning and he asks me if I've seen his wife.

Every day I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question.
But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.

A rich man and a poor man

There once was a rich man and a poor man. Each longed for love and a life to share with another special person. One day they both found just that. Come to find out however, they were each dating the other's sister.

So the rich man, being very protective of his little sister, organized a doub...

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A Poor Man And A Rich Man

Once there were to buddies. One was a poor man who worked all his life, the other a rich man whom owned several businesses.

They did a lot together. Got married the same day, had kids around the same time.

When It came time for their 50th wedding anniversary the to men were contemplati...

What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a poor man on a unicycle?

attire.

a poor man

A little kid asks his father: "Daddy, can you please give me some money? There is a poor man across the street..."
"It's good, that you care," says the father and gives the kid some money.
After a while, the father sees the kid with an ice cream in his hand, so he asks him: "Where did you ...

A Muslim dies and finds himself before the Pearly Gates...

He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed.

Having arrived at the Gates of
Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.

"Are you Mohammed?" he asks.

"No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." And he points to a ladder that rises into the c...

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There were three POWs together in a British prison in the Second World War, a German, a Japanese, and an Italian.

The British began by torturing the German. After long hours of silence infected by bloodcurdling screams, he talked, and was sent back to the prison, ashamed. He told the others what he had done and urged them to be stronger than he was.

They next began torturing the Japanese man. Through all...

A pretty poor man man walks into a bar.

He goes and sits at the bar before turning to the bar man.

'I only got a pound on me mate, anything I can get with that?'

'No,' says the bar man. 'But you can attempt a challenge for free drinks for the rest of the night.'

The poor man was up for it.

'Ok, so I'm gonna ho...

"Give a poor man a fish and you will feed him for a day

Give a poor man a poisoned fish and you will feed him for the rest of his life"

So a poor man walks into a pet store

Hoping to buy a parrot. He looks at a whole bunch of parrots, but all of them are out of his price range. He asks one of the employees if they have a cheaper parrot.

“Actually, we have one parrot that nobody has wanted to buy. His name is Chet and he very lovable, but he’s only got one leg.”...

The difference between a rich man at a strip club and a poor man at a strip club.

The rich man shows up to spend lots of cash and have a good time.

The poor man is there to take his sister home.

I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor!

A poor peasant is traveling the woody paths of Barnsdale, when a hooded man walks up to him.

Robin Hood: **"HALT!"**

**"*****I am Robin Hood, I take from the rich to give to the poor, now give me all your money!"***

Peasant: *"I have nothing, I've been hungry for years you see"*...

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A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "W...

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A poor man and a rich man

A poor man and a rich man are sitting at a table eating dinner, poor man asks what he should get for us wife as a anniversary gift. Rich man says get her a diamond ring and a Mercedes, poor man asks why the Mercedes the ring is already expensive enough? Rich man says if she doesn’t like the ring you...

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A rich man and a poor man are sitting by a frozen pond one December

They come to discussing the Christmas presents that they've bought for their respective wives. The rich man says "I got my wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedez Benz". The poor man is astounded at his rich friend's largess. He asks "why did you get her the jewelry *and* the car?" The rich man says ...

A poor man goes into a bar...

He sits down and orders a free water. The bartender says, “you look down, what’s wrong?” The poor man says, “I’ve got no money and no job, even my family won’t help. Do you know if there’s any way to make money in this town?” At this, the man next to him pipes up.

“Oh, look out for guys like ...

A poor man, a well off middle class man, and an extremely wealthy man in the 1% find themselves at the same event. The poor man and middle class man run into the wealthy man when they find out there's complimentary donuts and arrive to see him wrapping up 10 of the last 12 donuts and pocketing them

As the wealthy man is leaving he walks up to the middle class guy, motions to the poor man and whispers in his ear: "watch out, he's trying to take your donut.

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A very poor man has very low self confidence...

because of his eye. He lost it years ago, and he can not afford to buy a glass eye. All he can afford is an eye made of wood. One day, his friend decides to try to help him up his self confidence by telling him about a party. The man is reluctant, but his friend insists. At the party, the man is sta...

What do you call a poor man’s fart.

Destitoot

After years of hard work, a poor man and his wife manage to fulfill their dream of immigrating into the United States.

As they arrive, he sadly informs his wife he's heard that people in the U.S. actually eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well.

With a disgusted look on her face the wife sadly agrees, so they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'

The wif...

Why did the poor man sell yeast?

To make some dough

Why couldn’t the poor man donate at the sperm bank?

He was too low income

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Rich Man vs Poor Man's Anniversary Gift to Wife

Two married men - one rich, one poor - are walking down the street having a chat and discover they both have upcoming wedding anniversaries. When the topic of what gift to get their wives arises, the rich man says he's going to buy his wife a diamond ring and a Mercedes. The poor man inquires why...

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A Rich Man and a Poor Man sit down at a bar...

“What’s in the box?” asks the Poor Man.
“A diamond necklace!” exclaimed the Rich Man, “a gift for my wife of 25 years.”
“Hey, I’m celebrating my 25th anniversary too”, says the Poor Man.
“Oh really, so what’d you get her?” asks the Rich Man.
“A pair of slippers”, he replied.
“Ve...

A poor man & a man in a big black SUV arrive at the pearly gates...

Saint Peter immediately opens the gates for the man in the SUV and throws him a Big Party. A couple hours later he remembers the poor man still waiting. The poor man asked why he didn't get a celebration. St. Peter said we get poor people hear every day. But it's not very often we get a politician ...

A poor man is about to marry into a rich family

The father of the bride-to-be asks the poor man: “how will you provide for my daughter?”

The poor man replies: “God will provide”

The father of the bride thinks that the poor man is at least religious and will treat his daughter well.

During the wedding practice the father of th...

Today I gave my phone, watch, and money to a poor man

You can't begin to imagine the joy I felt as saw him stuff his gun back into his waistband

A poor man needs oil for his bicycle.

He doesnt have any money so he asks his wife if she has any money.

The wife said she doesnt have any money either.

But the man had an idea to get quick money.

A few days later he comes home with oil. The wife asks how did he get the money to buy oil.

"Why, I sold my bike ...

A rich man was driving in his Cadillac when he sees a poor man eating grass on a hill

“What are you doing” - Says the rich man.

“I have 3 days without food for me and my family, so the grass on this hill is our last resource”

“Daaaammmm, say no more, get in” -Says the rich man, exited.

“Ohhh, thank you very much. Do you mind if I tell to my wife and 2 kids about...

A poor man decides to write a letter to God, asking for some money...

In the letter, he writes that he works very hard but can never make enough. He pleads to God that even $100 would make him extremely happy.

The next day he goes to the post office, hands in his letter, and leaves with high hopes. The person sorting all the mail notices the envelope addressed...

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A rich man and a poor man both happen to be looking at birthday cards for their wives...

The rich man and poor man find out their wives share the same birthday.

The rich man proudly boasts what he got his wife for the special occasion.

"I got her a brand new Porsche **and** a diamond necklace. You see, if she doesn't like the car, I'll just give her the necklace! What di...

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Friend told me this joke today.. a rich man and a poor man are discussing presents for their wives..

“What are you going to get your wife?” Asks the poor man.

“Easy”, he says, “I’ll get her a diamond ring and a Ferrari”.

“Why both?”

“Well if she doesn’t like the ring we can drive to the store to exchange it, driving in the Ferrari so it’s a win win” says the rich man.
...

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So there is this one time when a rich man came accross a poor man in a stall on xmas.

The poor man asked, "so what present are you gonna give your wife this year?"

To which the rich man responded, "a diamond ring and a lamborghini."

"why those two things?" asked the poor man in confusion.

"Well, because if she doesn't like the ring, she can use the lamborghini to...

A couple is asleep when their doorbell rings at 3am.

The wife shakes the husband and says "honey, there's someone at the door."

The husband, irritated gets up and opens the door to an obviously drunk man.

"Can I help you?"

"Could you give me a push?" asks the drunk man.

"Hell no, and besides you are drunk" and slams the doo...

What is a poor man's favorite flavor of ramen?

Clearance

A rich man gave a basket of trash to a poor man[translated from hebrew]

The poor man smiled to the rich man and went on his way.

After emptying cleaning and filling it with flowers the poor man returned to the rich man and gave him basket.

Supreized the rich man asks: "why did you give me a basket of flowers after i gave you a basket of trash?"

The ...

Why did the poor man become a baker?

He really kneaded the dough alot

An elephant stumbles upon a naked man in the savanna. As he has never seen a naked man before he thinks to himself, pitying: "That poor man."

"How is he going to get food in his mouth?"

How do you get a poor man off the streets?

Pick him up and put him on the sidewalks.

A nun takes a poor man golfing for charity.

On the first hole the man completely shanks a shot and says, "Goddamnit I missed."

The nun replies, "You shouldn't take the lords name in vain."

The guy grumbles and they keep playing. A few holes later the man hits a ball in to a sand-trap and again says, "Goddamnit I missed."
...

Today I donated my watch, phone and $100 to a poor man on the street.

You have no idea how happy I felt when he put the knife back in his pocket.

iPhone X, Pixel 2 XL, Note 8: a poor man's review

unaffordable, unaffordable, unaffordable

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That poor man fell into a pile of crap and glue

That shit sticks with you.

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[NSFW] A doctor is giving a tour of a local hospital

One day a public health official goes to visit a local hospital. The doctor is giving them a tour around the hospital, bragging about what an outstanding reputation it has. He claims that they are the leading hospital in treating rare disorders and afflictions.

As the doctor and visitor pass ...

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A nurse at the ICU noticed a patient trying to say something through his oxygen mask.

Nurse: Sorry, what was that again?

Patient: Are my testicles black?

Nurse : Excuse me?

Patient : Are my testicles black?

The nurse was quite young and beautiful,and was used to getting hit on by patients. But seeing the state the poor man was in, she decided to check ...

Did you hear about the poor man in a wheelchair that won the lottery?

he's back on his feet now

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A very lonely, poor man goes to a brothel.

He sheepishly asks for their cheapest prostitute, admitting that he doesn't have much money. "That's no problem," he's told, "go down the corridor to the door at the end." Following the instructions, he finds himself in a dark room with a girl already in bed waiting for him. He strips off and starts...

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