Poor Guy Jokes - 73 Hilarious Poor Guy Jokes

Yesterday I donated my phone, wallet and watch to a poor guy...

You can't imagine the happiness that I felt as I saw him putting the gun back in his pocket.

A rich guy and a poor guy were having lunch togheter

The rich guy was eating a delicious fancy meal while the poor guy only had slop.

**Poor guy**: "Hey, wanna swap ?"

**Rich guy**: "Why would I trade my delicacy for your slop ?"

**Poor guy**: "This isn't ordinary slop, it's a secret family recipe. Whoever eats it becomes smarter....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor Guy

Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up a...

Poor guy, hope he gets the help he needs

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian "Hey, do you have any books on suicide?"

Librarian replies, "yes we do but I'm not giving it to you as it won't be returned"

Poor guy

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not rea...

poor guy.

The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries...

Until I unpacked them all & said, "That's how I want you to do it."

I just met the most poor guy on this planet

He is the most hated person in his city despite being a nice guy, his boss pays him almost no money, his best friend is a total idiot, the only girl that talks to him lives in her own bubble, and the worst:

He lives in a pineapple under the sea.....

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor guy

I asked my dog how he was feeling today.

Poor guy said “Ruff”

islas Malvinas

The English Government had finally decided to give the veterans of this terrible war between Argentina and the UK, some financial support, to the families of the veterans and to the veteran themselves. One of this war's veteran went to a pub in London and started pointing to a drink behind the barma...

Did you hear about the murder victim they found who's body was stretched out to 23 feet?

Poor guy was long dead.

I can see why Paul Walker jokes aren't funny anymore.

Poor guy can't catch a "brake".

(P.S. Happy Birthday Paul Walker. I wish u were still here)

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then, why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married."

I think my wife’s cheating on me with my best friend.

He’s been miserable lately. Poor guy.

Two people are discussing their ancestors who lived during world war 2

Girl: my grandparents were in a concentration camp

Boy: so was my grandpa, he died there

Girl: aw that’s so sad

Boy: yeah, poor guy fell out of the guard tower

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man was delivering liquor to an apartment house.

While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The man smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor guy broke into a swe...

I am transfinancial

I am a rich guy trapped in the body of a poor guy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tourist and the French girl

An American tourist visited a 5-star hotel in Paris.
As he sat at the bar, enjoying his drink, a red hot French girl in a red dress, came to him and said something in French, which he wasn't able to understand.
Unable to get over her heavenly body mixed with the heady aroma of her French perfu...

Did you hear about the guy who travelled to Czechoslovakia and wasn't allowed to leave for a long long time?

Poor guy. They made a movie about him: 12 Years A Slav.

Did you hear about M.C. Escher?

Poor guy tripped and fell up the stairs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I can't feel my legs!" (Christmas Edition)

Pt. 1

A guy wakes up in a hospital and starts screaming, "I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs! " A nurse rushes to his bed and says, "Of course not, you silly thing, they amputated your arms!"

Pt. 2

Do you know what the poor guy got for Christmas? No? Well, neither does...

A local law enforcement officer stops a car

for traveling faster than the speed limit. Since he was in a good mood that day, he decides to give the poor guy a break and give him a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name.

“Fred,” he replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy walks into a Doc's office

He says, "Doc I got this feeling something's eating away at my guts."

The Doc takes a look and says, "Oh no... What you've got is a rare hookworm. The thing is we can't just pull it out. It's hooked in there nice and good. We've got to coax it into coming out so we can grab it. Now you're jus...

Two doctors were at the subway station, heading for another work day

When they noticed an old man hunching and limping around.

— Poor guy - says one doctor — Yet another victim of sclerosis.

— Sclerosis? - asks the other one — I don't think so. That's clearly rheumatism.

— You can't be serious - replies the first one — How are you even a doctor i...

I saw a cicada last night.

The poor guy was just a hollow shell of his former self.

Robert!

Once three poor guys had to sleep in one blanket. And they wanted to sleep with their heads inside it. But they were scared of each other farting. So they decided that if anyone wants to fart they have to say the code word “Robert is coming” so that they could take their heads outside the blanket. <...

A Belarusian joke

A guy is walking down the street in Minsk, the capital of Belarus very close to the protests when suddenly a police car full of cops pulls up. The cops jump out of the car and start beating up the guy.

The poor guy then yells: "No, please, stop! I voted for Lukashenko!"

One of the cops...

A man buys a parrot for $2,500

The minute he brings the parrot into his house, the bird starts cussing at him, screaming, yelling and calling him every degrading name in the book.

Day in, day out, all the parrot does is give the poor guy a hard time.

The man tries to be nice, he tries pleading with the parrot, he ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am pretty sure my cat is gay

Though he seems a bit too insecure of it since he keeps coming out of the closet over and over , poor guy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A snail saves the day

A bear, a moose, a fox, a wolf and a snail were playing cards around a table. Suddenly, the bear let out a faint roar and said:

“Guys, I’m hungry. Could someone go buy some chocolate, or whatever?”

The moose shook his head and nodded towards the fox, who irritatingly slammed his little...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Healed!

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advic...

Two doctor friends are sitting and having a chat on a bench.

Across from them, they see a man hobbling and barely able to walk.

The first doctor says “Poor guy, looks like he suffered a devastating back injury. You can tell by his posture and the way he’s shifting his weight.”

The second doctor says “I disagree. I think it’s a hip injury, look ...

My Grandfather died in Auschwitz

Poor guy fell out of the guard tower

An old woman walks into a bank...

The bank was the most reputed one in the small town.

Clerk: " May I help you madam?"

Woman:"I want to open an account and deposit $1,000,000."

Since it was a lot of money, the clerk sent the woman to the manager's office.

Manager:"Please don't mind my asking but how do yo...

Stalins child looked like a dalmation

Poor guy had birthmarx all over him

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Poor guy really needed some space.

A blonde is drilling in the ice to fish when he hears a voice call out from above...

**There are no fish under the ice**

The guy looks up but doesn't see anyone. He asks - can I at least drill and see for myself?

The answers in a louder tone.

**There are no fish under the ice**

The poor guy looks up and still can't see anyone. He thinks to himself - ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons

where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have voices." The third man married a school teacher. Dave ...

Did you hear about the man who had his right side cut off

He's dead. Died from blood loss. Poor guy. On the bright side, his family got what's left of him.

With Zeus being quite the prolific fornicator, it was only natural he ended up getting an STI

Poor guy got the Thunder Clap

My grandfather was a dwarf

Poor guy always struggled to put food on the table

I told my dad me and my friend went to the store. He said, "my friend and I went to the store"

Poor guy is losing it, he definitely wasn't there.

Once in a small town lived a guy, who dreamt of having a car

He was fascinated by their speed and beauty, yet his parents wouldn't agree to fulfil his dream and buy it for him. So he changed various jobs, worked part-time and ran errands, anything just to get a bit closer to saving up for that final trophy. But as time came by his bank account didn't seem to ...

In the early 1970s, researchers discovered that a certain enzyme in a specific breed of seagull chicks granted dolphins that ate them a dramatically increased lifespan…

Hoping that this could be made viable for humans, they started extensive testing.

Unfortunately, the breed of gulls wasn't native to the area around their laboratory.

They sent a research assistant up the coast to gather additional specimens.

On his way back with a truckload o...

Trump seems to be having trouble finding backup music for his rallies lately :/

Poor guy should ask Green Day. Theyd probably let him use American Idiot.

Did you hear about the guy up north with coronavirus?

Guy was feeling under the weather while camping and went to his doctor. Doc says, I'm sorry but you caught Coronavirus. Guy goes home and thinks well maybe this will be my last chance to go camping and heads to the woods for the night. Poor guy then gets bit by a tick. So back to the doctor again an...

So I was walking on the streets the other day...

So I was walking on the streets the other day, and I saw this poor guy getting beaten up by 3 other guys. I decided to jump in and help.

He didn't stand a chance against the 4 of us.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Freudian slip

A man was waiting in line to buy a train ticket for himself and his friend. When he was almost to the front of the line, he noticed that the person selling the tickets had a rather nice, large pair of breasts. When it was his turn to buy the tickets, he accidentally blurted out "Two pickets for Titt...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a young man who lives a terrible life.

He had to go to school AND go to work, but his teacher hated him and would fail him for every test he took, and his boss was so cheap and crooked, he was barely making any money at all even after working for him for years. On top of that, he was hated so much by his co-worker and that there was an a...

My chameleon couldn’t change colors, so I took him to the vet…

Poor guy was diagnosed with ereptile dysfunction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] A guy walks into a bar and demands 3 shots of tequila. Bartender obliges and says, "rough day?". "You have no idea!", the guy replies as he slams down the shots...

He begins telling him about his horrible day when a jar full of money at the end of the bar catches his eye. "What's that jar of money for over there? It's full to the brim of $10's and $20's!"

Bartender tells him it's a challenge he offers to his patrons, $10 to play, and you have to complet...

My Wife Threw My Out of the House

Guy walks into a bar staggering drunk and sobbing.
"What's wrong asks the bartender?"
My wife threw me out of the house and now she never wants to see me again," says the guy.
The bartender hands a cup of Joe to the poor guy and says, "Tell me the whole story. It can't be all that bad and ...

A judge walks out of his courtroom in Soviet Russia chuckling to himself.

Another judge stops him and says, "What's so funny?"

"I just heard this funny political joke in my courtroom." the first judge says.

"Really?" says the second judge, "Tell it to me, I want to hear it."

The first judge says, "No way. I gave the poor guy 20 years hard labor for it...

Its still christmas time

I really appreciate how some people still give gifts to poor guys on the street, even after christmas.

For example yesterday I saw someone giving his credit card and 5k$ to a guy who only had a knife...

An oxygen atom was looking forward to a ,

Instead the poor guy got ozoned.

Little Jewish boy that can't understand math

Two Jewish parents are very concerned that their little boy is failing at mathematics. They exhaust every method of tutoring and schooling, until they reach their last resort.... Catholic School.

The very next day little Elisha comes home from school, runs to his room, and began studying. To ...

A man walks into a bar...

Poor guy. Must've hurt.

Melo is getting divorced from his wife...

poor guy. lost the only ring he has!

Fighting budgie (long)

This poor man walked into a pub, hoping that someone would buy him a free pint. He sat there for ages until someone finally came over and gave him a raffle ticket. The ticket was entered into a draw and he won a budgie in a massive cage. The poor man sat there and said to this guy "Now what the bloo...

I heard about a tourist that visited a religious site once.

He climbed all those steps and wanted to ring the bell at the end, but the poor guy had no arms, having lost them in an industrial accident year previous.

But being no stranger to overcoming adversity, the tourist insisted on ringing the bell anyway, so the guy ran toward the bell and hit it ...

Two guys at a bar make a bet...

There are two guys sitting at a bar having a beer together. So one guy goes to the other "I'll bet you $20 i can go over there slap that bald guy on the head and he won't do anything about it." so the other guy is like sure but he is going to beat you up. so the guy goes over smacks the bald guy on ...

The news reports of a Polish terrorist who tried to blow up a bus...

Poor guy...burned his lips on the exhaust pipe...

Two guys are drinking in a bar. One guy says to the other:"Did you know that in Tokyo every hour a man is ran over with a car?"

The other guy replied: Poor guy! How can anyone live like that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Circumcision Joke

Two 10 year old boys are - one looks over at the of the other and says, "Oh no! What's wrong with your ?"
The little boy replies, "I've been circumcised"
His friend says, "You poor guy - when did that happen?"
"When I was born", came the reply
"Yuck, it looks awf...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is having terrible headaches

A man is having terrible headaches

So a man is having terrible headaches. These have been going on for years –and they just keep getting worse. When the headaches strike the poor man can’t work, he can’t sleep, he can’t bare light or sounds or even touch. The poor guy sees doctor after doc...

Did you hear about the lonely battery?

Poor guy was never included.

Young Billy discovers the power of prayers

One day Billy's teacher yells at him for not doing his homework. He feels upset and when in bed he prays' Dear God, please kill my teacher"

When he goes to the school, he learns that his teacher passed away. He comes back home amazed by the power of his new forms of communication.

Se...

Wild Boar Crossing

I was driving down the highway when I spotted a sign that said "Wild Boar Crossing, $500 fine". Shortly after, wouldn't you know, a little boar ran right out into my lane. I swerved but couldn't react in time and hit the poor guy with my car. I stopped to look around and get my bearings. Lucky f...

A drunk guy knocks on a door at night...

A drunk guy knocks on a door at night and the homeowner is furious and screams:

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, IT'S 3 IN THE MORNING!!"

The drunk says: Would you please help me push? Help me push, please.

The homeowner yells at the drunk: "NO! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU AND IT'S IN THE MID...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Generous Lawyer

One day a lawyer was riding in his limosine when he saw a guy eating grass. He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass?"

The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can't afford anything to eat."

So the layer said, "Poor guy, come back to my house."

...

One day a small farmhouse catches on fire

The fire quickly becomes a towering inferno, while the family sleeps. A pig breaks out of the pig pen and rushes into the house. One by one it drags the family members out to safety. The next day a local news service comes by to cover the amazing story. The family and community heaps praise on t...

Can we have a moment of silence for Mr. Finnegan?

He was married for 50 years, the poor guy deserves at least one.

Did you hear about that Reese lady?

Guy 1: Hey, did you here about that celebrity that stabbed some poor guy to death? What was her name, Reese... Reese Wither... Wither...

Guy 2: Witherspoon?

Guy 1: No, with her knife.

Classic that I haven't seen for awhile

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.