One Up Jokes - 16 Hilarious One Up Jokes

My 7 yr old just made this one up: What do you say when a dinosaur farts?

That was a blast from the past!

Made this one up at work today.

There once was an ancient Greek philosopher that dedicated his life to hypothesize the perfect way to cool off on a hot summer day.

His name was Popsicles.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My 10 year old son made this one up. Why doesn't a snowman wear snow pants?

Because his snow balls are too big.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Newton died a virgin! Today, I have one upped him

by being alive

My kid made this one up: How do you make Swiss cheese?

With a holey cow.

My daughter made this one up

Why is my hair cost money? Because I just brushed it so it’s knot free!!

My daughter just made this one up… What do you call a unicorn with two horns?

A goat.

I made this one up today…. What is Santa’s favorite weather?

It’s rain, dear!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Just made this one up myself!) How do you know butterflies are good kissers??

They have a proboscis (Pro - Boss - Kiss)!!

My son ( u/BirdsongBossMusic) is a sophomore in college and sent me pics of all the cool things from his Zoology lab today, including the aforementioned butterfly nose. I just thought about what a funny word "proboscis" is and, well, the rest is...

I made one up.

Guy goes to the Doctors

"I have this problem.. I keep seeing cream cakes in the corner of my eye! I look and there's nothing there! Wtf is going on?!"

"Nothing to worry about" Doc replies

"It's just your profiterole vision"

Made this one up on the spot at the jewelry store

The jeweler: "Do any of these pieces scream 'take me home' to you?"

Me: if they were screaming, I wouldn't *want* to take them home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Made this one up in health class today

Suzy gets invited to go to her first high-school party with alcohol. Her mother is no fool and understands how teenagers are, so she sits Suzy down and gives her the talk "Now Suzy. it is normal for girls and boys your age to begin to have sex. It is natural and nothing to be ashamed of , BUT if you...

I made this one up myself. Hoping it gets at least a chuckle....

Q. Why do Covid-denying men make such poor lovers?

A. Because they're emaskulated.

My ten year old daughter made this one up… thought it was pretty good. “What’s the least expensive type of car?”

Afford.

My 6 year old just made this one up, really proud. If a pear “paralyzes” you, what does an apple do?

It paralyzes you.

My first grader made this one up: What do you call the northern lights when they're not very interesting?

Aurora Boringalis

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.