Q: How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex? A: She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn.
The Bell Ringer
A bishop advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower. The only job applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Bishop: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower, where the bell is." .. So they climb all those stairs to the ...
Three men go to heaven and meet Saint Peter.
They were each greeted warmly and told to answer all questions truthfully. St. Peter asks the first man: "You were married, but were you faithful? Remember, I will know if you are lying."
"Absolutely, I never cheated once in my life." claimed the man, pride gleaming in his eyes.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The Wife and The Landlord
"That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor.
"You didn't do it, did you?"
"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my...
My son told me this one. I hadn't heard it before. Son: Why did the chicken cross the road? Me: I don't know. Son: He was going to visit the dummy. Me: ? Son: Knock, knock Me: Who's there? Son: The Chicken Me: :/ Taps microphone: In spite of my misgivings about the sear...
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned..."
The man professed quite a list of misgivings through the confessional screen.
"Son, have you prayed for forgiveness?"
"Do you renounce Satan?"
"Hey, that's my wife you're taking about!"