UPJOKE
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How many Toronto Maple Leaf fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nobody knows.

They always say they'll do it next year.

What do the Titanic and The Toronto Maple Leafs have in common...

They both look great until they hit the ice.

How to fix a broken vacuum.

If you ever come a cross a broken vacuum, put a toronto maple leaf hockey jersey on it.

It will start sucking right away.

What does a Maple leaf fan do when they win the cup?

Turn off their console and go to sleep.

What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a sperm donor?

One blows leads, the other blows loads

I just found out Canada isn’t real.

Turns out it was all maple leaf.

A Chicago Blackhawks fan, a Boston Bruins fan, a Montreal Canadiens fan, and a Toronto Maple Leafs fan are climbing up a cliff.

They are arguing over who is most loyal to their team. It gets to the point where, when they are halfway up the cliff, the Bruins fan yells, "This is for Boston!" He then jumps off the cliff and dies.

The three remaining climbers continue to climb until they are three-quarters of the way up t...

I heard the Toronto Maple Leafs now have the milk board as their sponsor.

Now they only have to put in 2% of the effort.

What does it mean when a groundhog sees a maple leaf on feb. 02?

...six more weeks of bad hockey!

Two Canadians die and go to hell.

Satan puts them in their own cell and turns up the heat to 49C, figuring that’s a good temperature to start newcomers. He comes back a while later to find the Canadians shirtless but smiling.

“It never gets this warm in Canada we’re enjoying while it lasts.” One of them explains when a mystif...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Toronto Maple Leaves

So a man is walking along and he finds a lamp. He runs the lamp, a genie pops out an says, "I will grant you one wish."

Man: "I wish I can live forever."

Genie: "I'm sorry but I can't grant that to you. Wish for anything else and it'll be my pleasure to grant it to you."

Man: "...

What's the difference between a Toronto Maple Leafs fan and a 14-year old girl?

Nothing. They are both just waiting for the first period to be over.

What do Maple Leaf players have in common with Abe Lincoln?

They can't finish a play.

Where's the red light district in Toronto?

Behind the Maple Leafs' net.

Little Johnny is in a courtroom, deciding who will have his custody

Little Johnny has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible. Little Johnny surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aun...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

the toronto maple leafs were so bad at hockey the...

organization decided, 'ya know what, we got this group of guys here. great with their hands. lets just fuckin open a chain of pizzerias'.

Brilliant, I happened to be living in toronto at the time and wanted some za, called them for a plain cheez. & they couldnt deliver.

Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick

Cause he wanted to join the maple leafs,

The Greatest French Hockey Player

A hockey-loving guy from Ontario moves to Quebec. He turns on the radio to listen to the Toronto Maple Leafs vs Montreal Canadiens hockey game. He realizes that the game is being broadcast in French, but he decides to listen anyways. Maybe He'll be able to make out what's happening and at least get ...

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