How High Jokes - 14 Hilarious How High Jokes

Cop asks a guy..how high are you?

Guy: no officer, it's hi, how are you.

Son: "Dad, how high is that building?"

Building: "Why am I called a building if I'm already built?"

Dad: "Pretty damn high."

From how high can you drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

Higher than you would think, the structural integrity of a well laid concrete floor renders it virtually indestructible towards an incoming egg, even at terminal velocity.

My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is

I told him, "My door is always open".

When my wife asks me to jump, I ask "how high?"

I think she'll be really impressed when I take her to the Eiffel Tower tomorrow.

A scientist was experimenting with how high frogs could jump.

First, he found a frog and said: "Jump". The frog jumped 2 feet into the air. The scientist recorded this in his notebook.

Next, he carefully pulled one leg off the frog, and told it to jump. It jumped 8 inches into the air, so he recorded this.

He pulled off yet anothe...

Cop to driver: "How high are you?"

Driver to cop: "No, no, no. You're supposed to say 'Hi, how are you?'"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My customers don’t appreciate how high quality the manure I sell them is.

I don’t get paid enough for this shit.

How high can Miss Piggy count?

68, because at 69 she gets a frog in her throat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In math class a boy is asked how high he thinks the school is.

Boy: "I reckon about 4'8"
Teacher: "That is utterly ridiculous how do you get this idea"
Boy: "Well I'm 5' and I have it up till here with this."
Off course he gets kicked out. Sitting in the yard the Principal comes by and asks what's up.
Boy: "I got kicked out for guessing the school...

I bet a guy $50 that I could jump higher than a house.

So we went outside and stood by a house. Mustering all my strength, I managed to jump about 18 inches off the ground.

"Ha! Is that as high as you can jump?"

"Hold on, let's see how high the house jumps."

A cop stops a drunk man and asks: How high are you?

The man replies: This is wrong english, you should say 'Hi, How are You?'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How high was the man's scream when his penis was crushed by a piano?

It was probably about a D-Flat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I read in the school newsletter today that there were kids in the school toilet block pissing up the wall to see how high they could reach

Anyway, apparently the school principal heard about this and was fuming, so he stormed over to the toilets and hit the roof!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.