UPJOKE
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The gun fight between the turtles and tortoises was barbaric!

Empty shells everywhere.

One Marine is better than...

A large group of Isis fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune:
"One Marine is better than ten Isis fighters".

The Isis commander quickly orders 10 of best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, ...

A soldier got injured in a gun fight...

... and kept screaming "medic". The other soldiers took him to the medical tent but he kept screaming "medic". The medic finally arrived and asked him what was wrong and the soldier kept saying "medic". After a few minutes of inspecting the soldier below the waist, he realized that the soldier wasn'...

A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people.

He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering "Turkish got 3 problems."

Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say "Hey, yopu know what you're wearing is insulting?"
The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily offended."

The Turkish respond: "Oka...

People always say don’t bring a knife to a gun fight..

I don’t know, I always thought the person with the knife has the edge.

A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.

He then proceeded to draw his weapon.

What do you call two celebrities who get into a gun fight?

One is a shooting star, and the other is a falling star.

Never bring a knife to a gun fight...

Unless you're John Wick, in that case bring a pencil.

A Kalashnikov walks into a BAR

Then they had a gun fight.

A Taliban commander is walking through the mountains with his troops..

Everything is calm and then from behind hill comes a voice "one SAS solider is better than 10 of your men." Excited at the thought of taking out an SAS member, the commander sends 10 of his troops over the hill. After a short period of gun fighting, silence falls. And then again, from behind the hil...

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