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Go To Work Jokes

A white guy, a black guy, and a Chinese guy go to work at a coal mine.

When they arrive the manager assigns each of them a task. The white guy, Frank, is in charge of digging. The black guy, Jamaal, is in charge of transportation. The Chinese guy, Wong, is in charge of supplies.

They get to work and everything is going smoothly. Frank is digging up the coal at...

Why do riot police like to go to work early?

To beat the crowd

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

11 Reasons To Go To Work Naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. Inventive way to finally meet that hunk in Human Resources.
4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
5. To stop tho...

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Each and every morning of those 15 years, Bob has woken up, farted loudly and proudly, rolled over onto his back and got out of bed to go to work...

And each and every morning for those 15 years, Martha has said to him disgustedly, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"

But this has had no effect on Bob as he has continued merrily with his routine each morning.

Martha is totally fed up with this and then one Thanksgi...

Everytime I go to work, I hide because..

Good employees are hard to find

A rabbi, a hindu and a lawyer go to work on a farm...

When it comes time to sleep, the farmer says he has only two beds available, so one of them will have to sleep in the barn.

The hindu is humble and goes out to sleep in the barn. Five minutes later there's a knock on the farmer's door, it's the hindu. He says there's a cow in the barn and it...

I use BMW to go to work

Bus

Metro

Walk

Where do monkeys go to work out?

The jungle gym.

According to my research, only 12% of people at the gym actually go to work out

The other 88% are there to demand I stop my filming

Where does a nose go to work?

Down at the ol’ factory.

Why didn’t a Bostonian go to work?

He couldn’t find his khakeys

Due to turning into laundry detergent, I was unable to go to work today.

What can I say? My hands were Tide.

Where do pigs go to work?

To the bakery because they be bakin'.

How does the Chinese chef go to work?

He woks.

Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown..

Cuz he’s a key worker.

Due to lack of protective measures during the pandemic, retail cashiers and bank tellers are refusing to go to work

It's a counter strike

Where do slave traders go to work?

The black market

Had to go to work looking scruffy today...

My stupid kid didn't get any razorblades in his Halloween candy.

Mr.Ferguson always takes the A200 to go to work,

One day, Ms,Ferguson hears on the radio.
« Attention to all listeners on the road today, a car on the A200 is reportedly driving backwards »

Ms.Ferguson, worried, calls Mr.Feguson and says « Honey, I heard on the radio that a car is driving backwards on the A200, be careful »

« It’s...

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left to go to work in the morning?

Bison

What do beekeepers say when they go to work?

"Alright, let's get down to beeswax!"

I turn heads every time I go to work

Makes sense, I'm a chiropractor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy calls his boss to tell him he cannot go to work for personal reasons.

His boss responds, "Every time I feel down, I have sex with my wife. It always makes me feel better. You should try it too.

Two hours later, the employee responds, "you are right! I feel much better. I'll be in soon. I never realized how far of a commute you have every day!"

What fundamental force compels physicists to go to work on Mondays?

The week force.

Where do banana slaves go to work?

Plantaintions.

I’ve done some terrible things for money.

Like getting up early to go to work. ‬

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife is tired of all the problems that need fixing in her house

She asks her husband, "Can you please fix the leak in the bathroom? ", the husband says "Do i look like a plumber?"

She asks him "Well can you please fix the light in the living room, its been flickering for ages?", he replies "Do i look like and electrician?"

Growing tired she asks hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doc, you gotta help me!

A man goes to the doctors and says "Doc, you gotta help me!"

The doctor says "What's your problem?"

The guy says "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning flagpole'.. I give the missus a quick one, then go to work. On the way to work I car pool with the next door neighbor's wife who gi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chinese Sick Day

Ho Chow calls in to work and say,

"Hey boss, I no come work today, I very sick. Got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt. I no come work today"

The boss says, "You know something Ho Chow, I really need you today. When I get sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask for sex. That make ...

When you drink a lot of alcohol, you oversleep, don't remember important things, don't go to work, hallucinate and sometimes even forget that you have a girlfriend or that you're married...

But most importantly, don't forget that drinking also come with negative effects.

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