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Friend's House Jokes

A man goes to his friend's house and knocks on the door.

The wife responds and only had a towel on her.
The man looks at her and says: is your husband here?
She said: yes, he's taking a bath.
The man: I'll give you $100 if you drop the towel.
Wife: you are crazy, I would never do that.
The man: I'll give you $250 if you drop...

I want to know if this brazillian joke makes sense in other cultures

A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.

A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he to...

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[NSFW] Thomas Edison is busy inventing in his basement, when his wife, Mary, goes to a friend's house to ask for her advice.

"Thomas just won't go down on me", Mary tells her friend.

"I'll let you in on a little secret", the friend replies, "If you want oral sex with Thomas, try coating your privates with something sweet tasting, it works for me!"

When Mary arrives home she checks in the cupboards and finds...

I went to pick my nephew up from work, but unbeknownst to me, he was at his friend's house.

I returned with nothing to chauffer it.

A girl wants to do a sleepover at her friend's house.

Her mom: you'll be sleeping in different rooms right?
Daughter: Mom! I'm 12.
Mother: and I'm 24

Every time Frank went to his friend's house, he found his friend’s grandmother deeply engrossed in her Bible.

“Why does your grandmother reads the Bible so much?” Frank asked his friend.

*"She’s cramming for her finals.”*

I went to hang out at a friend's house. He told me to make myself at home.

So I kicked him out, I hate having people over.

A little boy is walking home from his friend's house,

When he sees something in the middle of the road. He bends over and picks up a picture of a smiling pretty girl holding up two fingers. He thinks, "Wow! What a cool picture! I'm going to show Mo-." The boy is hit by a truck and instantly dies. A man gets out of the truck in a panic and 911 already p...

A man who works at the Guinness brewery in Dublin, Ireland goes to his best friend's house.

The friend's wife opens the door and sees the look of grief on the man's face.

"I'm sorry, there's been a terrible accident and Liam died."

"Dear God, no!!! How?!"

"He fell in a vat of beer and drowned."

"Just tell me one thing: did he suffer?"

"I don't think so. H...

A guy goes to his friend's house, and there is a dog.

\-How cute! What's his name.

\-Who.

\-The dog.

\-Yeah, Who.

\-The damned dog! What's your name, buddy?

\-Who can't speak.

\-Who can't speak?

\-No.

A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house.

Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.

His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names."

The host ...

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A father buys a lie detector

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork."

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend'...

My family and I were at a friend's house for a barbecue when it started to rain.

Our son commented, "The rain is wet."
My friend laughed and said, "Wow, talk about stating the obvious!"
"He's always doing that," my wife said. "I don't know who he gets it from..." she laughed, pointing in my direction.
After a few seconds, I turned to my friend and said, "He gets i...

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I went to take a shit in my friend's house and they had Donald Trump's autobiography on the side

I thought about it, but decided toilet paper would be comfier

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I was at my wife's friend's house to pick up some glassware from the last time we all got together

And my wife's friend walks in and says
"I want you to take off my shirt"
So I take off her shirt, and she says
"Now I want you to take off my pants"
So I take her pants off, and she tells me to take off her bra and panties, so I take them off. Finally, she says "and if I ever catch you w...

I was at my friend's house the other day

and saw his dog licking its balls. "Oh, I wish I could do that" I said, my friend then replied back "Give him a biscuit and he might let you"

At my friend's house, her dad told us these jokes called "Mama mama jokes." I expected old fashioned "Yo' mama" jokes. I got these.

Mama, Mama, I don't like little brother!

Shut up and eat what you're told.

Mama, Mama, I don't want to go to Hawaii!

Shut up and keep swimming.

Mama, Mama, I don't like going in circles!

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

Honestly, I'm scarre...

I took my skateboard around my friend's house.

"Wanna see me kickflip?" I asked.

"No..." he sighed.

He really regrets naming his dog "Flip".

The bro code

Jill didn't come home one night. When she got home the next morning, she said she'd slept over at a girl friend's house.

Jack called ten of her best friends, but none of them said she had been there.

A week later, Jack doesn't come home. The next day, he says he spent the night at a bu...

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Railroad

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, w...

I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered:

'Yeah, three males and two females.' Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: 'Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone.'

There was a porta-potty near the edge of a small cliff

Everyday young Bobby would walk by it on the way home from school, and every day he would resist the temptation to kick it off the edge of the cliff.

This all changed one day when Bobby had a particularly bad day at school. He had learned about boring topics, like how George Washington cut do...

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