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Fall In Love Jokes

So a village boy and a modern girl fall in love and want to try 69

The boy doesn’t know about 69 so the girl takes the lead.

He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts out uncontrollably directly in his face. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises.

She squats down for another go but farts again, thi...

You know that tingly sensation you get when you fall in love with somebody?

That's common sense leaving your body.

A man and a woman meet in heaven and fall in love.

They walk up to God and ask to be married.

God says give me some time and I'll get back to you.

Three or four years pass and God finally tells the man and woman that he can have them married.

A few more years pass and the man and woman fall out of love. They approach God once ...

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Two residents of an old folks home fall in love…..

June and Freddy. And they adore each other but they are too old and weak for sex. So the way they show affection is that each evening, June visits Freddy in his room, they sit side by side in their armchairs, and June just holds Freddy’s penis in her hand while they watch TV. That’s their love life ...

When inmates fall in love.

Do the finish each others sentences?

Maybe if I fall in love with my anxiety

it'll leave me too.

Dad, did you ever fall in love?

\- "Yes son. I did once."

\- "And, what happened?"

\- "In the beginning it was fantastic but then your mother found out."

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A young recently immigranted Italian couple Maria and Luigi fall in love and get married.

They're sort of poor and spend the honeymoon night at her mama and papa's house.
Maria's a nervous virgin and Mama's busy cooking spaghetti and has to try to calm Maria down and talk her into going upstairs to her husband. She finally does, and Luigi is sitting on the bed and gives her a long pas...

Why did the 90 degree angle fall in love with 60 degree angle?

Cause it was a-cute angle

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If you fall in love with a satyr....

Then you're probably Pan sexual.

Why did Death fall in love with his victim?

He just couldn't get enough of demise.

Never fall in love with a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

Two robots fall in love

Two robots fall in love they went on dates and they got a bit frisky so the male put on his nuts and bolt and they went at it he put it in and the girl robot said "no input detected"

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Therapist : your problem seems to be over attachment, a tendency to fall in love very quickly without regards of other person's feeling.

Me : please don't talk like this, baby doll.

Never fall in love with a heroine junky.

They got a lot of love, but it's all in vein.

Why did the girl fall in love with the zombie?

She said he was just so infectious

What happens when two eels fall in love?

They develop eelings for each other

How did the two archaeologists fall in love

Carbon dating.

I spent a year writing a romance novel where two blood cells meet and fall in love. It never got published.

It was all in vein.

Why did the vampire fall in love with the Wizard?

Because the wizard was a neck-romancer.

Two watermelons fall in love and want to get married.

Alas, weddings of that variety haven't been legalised yet meaning they cantaloupe

A friend once asked me how to get a fat girl to fall in love with me.

I replied, "piece of cake."

What makes people fall in love with Mount Rushmore?

It's the men with all the chiseled features.

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What do you call a bisexual who can't get men and women to fall in love with them?

Bi-yourself

Two Melons Fall In Love

The guy says, “I love you so much, my sweet little honey dew. I don’t want to wait. Let’s run away to Vegas together.”

The girl replies, “No, baby. I cantaloupe.”

Guys think that what women wish for is to find the perfect guy and fall in love....

WRONG...What every woman really wish for is to be able to eat anything they want and not get fat.

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I asked my Japanese girlfriend to make me a traditional dish tasty enough to make me fall in love with her national cuisine.

Sushi did.

A melon and a banana fall in love...

After dating for many years, the banana goes to the melon's father to ask for her hand in marriage. Papa Melon, who never really liked the banana and hoped he was just one of his daughter's phases, says he cannot give them his blessing. Heartbroken, the banana runs back to his girlfriend, begging wi...

2 onions fall in love and mate, they give birth to a beautiful son!

One day, they leave the front door open on accident and the young onion rolls out into the world.

While crossing the street, the poor onion child gets flattened in the road...

He is then rushed to the hospital, the father rolling around in the hall, extremely anxious to hear any news.<...

Why do people fall in love?

Cause they don't have enough problems yet!


*Is not mine but too good not to share.

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a ...

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The most beautiful feeling in the world is the day you fall in love..

after that everything is bullshit.

George Falls in Love

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your moth...

Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?

He'll dessert you!

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A Jewish Girl And A Greek Boy Fall In Love

When the Jewish girl tells her father that she has fallen in love with a Greek boy and wants to marry him, he hits the ceiling. He forbids it, on pain of disownment. The girl goes ahead and marries the boy, anyway. The old man does not even go to the wedding and stops talking to her altogether....

Scarlett Johansson is on a plane that crashes on a remote island.

She and some regular guy are the only two survivors. They make the best of their situation, scavenge what supplies they can from the plane, and try to keep going.

They build a little hut on the beach and - both of them having certain "needs" - eventually start hooking up.

This keep goi...

Why didn't Princess Fiona fall in love with Lord Farquaad?

He lacks Shrek's appeal

-Dad, did you ever fall in love with a teacher?

-Yes son, the kindergarden teacher

-And what happened?

-Your mother was not amused, we had to take you to another school.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

What do cannonballs do when they fall in love?

They make bbs

Two antennas meet on a roof and fall in love...

They date for awhile, get engaged, and then get married. The wedding ceremony itself wasn't that great, but the reception was amazing!

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The thing I learned from Beauty and the Beast:

Any girl can fall in love with you given you lock her in the basement long enough.

An amputee woman was having a drink in a bar...

...when a man comes up and asks about her missing leg.

"Oh, it's really quite an amazing story," she said. "I used to love surfing! I rode waves all day and all night, rain or shine. One morning, after just an hour or so of surfing, a great white shark came and knocked me right off the bo...

Adam asked God

**Adam**: *why did you make Eve so beautiful?*

**God**: *so you could fall in love with her*

**Adam**: *and why did you make her so stupid?*

**God**: *so she could fall in love with you*

It's pretty easy to fall in love with an Olympic Curler

They're used to sweeping people off their feet

Women fall in love with what they hear and men with what they see

That's why men lie and women wear make-up.

A woman goes to a wise man to make her husband fall in love with her

He tells her that he can make a magical potion, But she has to get the ingredients. The woman agrees,
He said she has to get:
1-a hair from a lion
2- a rose.
The woman has a flower shop ao she gets the rose easily, but she didnt know how to get a lion's hair,
So she goes into the wi...

I’m currently writing a screenplay about two Jedi knights who fall in love, only to discover that their midichlorians are killing them.

I’m calling it The Fault in Our Star Wars.

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An English man meets a Chinese woman in his travels...

They fall in love and live a happy life in England. The woman, however cannot speak in English and has to have her husband translate for her. One day, the man was rather busy and asked his wife to make duck breast. She goes to the butcher but then realizes she doesn't know how to tell him what she w...

I'm always in a love triangle

I fall in love with a girl, the girl is in love with nobody, and nobody loves me.

At a job interview

The interviewer routinely asks “what do you see as your greatest strength?”

“I easily find the best in people to the point that at times i fall in love with them because of it”

“That’s interesting. How about your greatest weakness?”

“Those beautiful blue eyes of yours”

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A boy grows up being told by his mother never to touch a woman's private parts because they have teeth...

A boy grows up being told by his mother never to touch a woman's private parts because "They have teeth!" One day when he's older he starts seeing a lovely girl who he begins to fall in love with. Things are going great, but she starts to feel frustrated at his lack of sexual progression with her. F...

Two ships crash into each other on a densely foggy day on the ocean.

The two captains (a man and a woman) wind up in the same hospital and they fall in love. They give up their sailing careers to raise a family.

When the wife was almost ready to give birth, they decided it would be really sweet if their child chose a career that would be helpful in preventing...

A woman stands in a bus station and thinks to herself: "should I go by bus or by taxi?

If I go by taxi, it doesn't matter. If I go by bus, there are 2 options; either I'll sit, or I'll stand. If I stand, it doesn't matter. If I sit, there are 2 options; either I'll sit next to a boy, or I'll sit next to a girl. If I'll sit next to a girl, it doesn't matter. If I sit next to a boy, the...

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Jeff, we got a Problem!

Man finds magical lamp.
Man rubs lamp.
Genie emerges.

Genie (bored monotoned voice required) : I am a genie. As you probably know I bestow wishes. There are a few ground rules. No wishing for reviving the dead, No wishing to fall in love, and you only get 3 wishes, so no wishing for li...

An old man goes fishing

An old man is fishing at a lake when a frog approaches him.

The frog says "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful woman and fall in love with you."

The man is amazed. He pick up the frog, stuffs him in his pocket and heads for home.

On the drive, the frog starts squirming ...

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An algebra teacher had just finished his lecture when he saw a female student...

She had stayed behind after everyone else had left, furiously working away at proof exercises. The teacher walked up to her and said, "Why are you working so hard?"

She looked up and responded: "Harry Styles will marry me if and only if I finish top of my class."

The teacher looked be...

Three guys on a hiking trip find a lamp, so they rub it until a genie appears who generously offers to grant each of them three wishes.

The first one goes "I would love to be as rich as I ever want, with enough money appearing in my bank account whenever I want to buy anything." The second one says "that's amazing, I want the same!", but the third one says "I want my left arm to constantly rotate clockwise."
- "Done", says the ge...

A Girlfriend's Love

Me: Remind me again what made you fall in love with me.

GF: Baby, I love that no matter how sad I am you can always make me laugh

Me: Are you certain it isn't how great I am in bed?

GF: See baby, you are so hilarious

A man rubs a magic lamp and a Genie pops out.

Genie: You have one wish, but there's three rules. I can't kill anyone, I can't make people fall in love and can't bring anyone back from the dead.

Man: I want socialism to work.

Genie: There's four rules.

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