Existential Crisis Jokes - 16 Hilarious Existential Crisis Jokes

If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I’ve ever had...

Does money even matter?

Did you hear about the existential crisis at Sea World?

Given all the pressure they're under to release their animals, they're fearful of a porpoise-less existence...

I'll see myself out.

If i had a dollar for every time i had an existential crisis...

it wouldn't matter because currency is a social construct and life is meaningless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bed salesman has an existential crisis and sells all of his wares for 100% off.

The sale slogan? “Fuck it, nothing really mattress.”

Did you know that dolphins have existential crisis too?

They wonder if their life has a porpoise.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

O.C. A coupon has an existential crisis...

A coupon has an existential crisis. He's been sitting in the utility drawer when he notices his expiration date is in a few days.Feeling useless, he walks out of the house and down the road until he comes upon a synagogue. In front of the synagogue is a Rabbi. The Rabbi asks: "Little Coupon! How ma...

I gave someone an existential crisis last night.

How?

I confessed my love, and now they wish they never existed.

After my existential crisis, I decided to take a job as a feeder at the local dolphinarium

Now I’m serving a youthful porpoise

How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

I told my bully he was just a child having an existential crisis.

He said “I know you are, but what am I?”

My girlfriend laughed at me for having an existential crisis at 17.

Jokes on her. She doesn't even exist!

Did you hear about the dolphin who went thru a existential crisis?

Turns out, he lost his sense of porpoise.

My neighbors are worried that I’m having an existential crisis but I don’t know what they’re so concerned about.

It’s not like anything matters anyway.

What's the difference between a Benign Cancer Cell and Malignant Cancer Cell?

One of them has an existential crisis.

A digging exploration

One day the US government decided to fund a digging exploration to explore the earth

They built a gigantic machine filled with thousands of soldiers, scientists, engineers etc

As they were digging through the earth's crust, the suddenly hit something big and had an emergency.

At...

Helium walks into a bar.

Or, rather than walks, floats; for helium, at room temperature, is a gas, and thus has no legs with which to walk, and, due to its lighter-than-air nature, does not sink to the ground. The bartender himself is confused, for not only is helium invisible to the naked eye in the absence of another obje...

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