No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting “Another One Bites The Dust”



The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

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I love the look on the poor sods faces when I drive by them and they're pissed wet through and freezing cold at the bus stop

Partly why I took the job as a bus driver tbh

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Learning about sex by watching porn is like learning to drive by watching Fast and Furious

It's angrier, quicker and much more to do with family than real life.

A police officer pulled me over and told me I’m too young to drive by myself, I assured him I wasn’t driving alone.

He didn’t believe me, I had to open the trunk so he can see for himself.

My friends said they'd pick me up for the drive by so I strapped up and waited for them on the porch...

They yelled, its Karen's birthday we have signs and balloons for you why the f*** do you have a gun??

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One day Bill was out raking leaves when he saw a hearse drive by...

followed by a second hearse, followed by man solemnly walking a dog, and then a line of two hundred men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Bill questioned the man following the second hearse, “Who is that in the first hearse?”

The man replied, “My wife.”

Bill said, “I’m sorry. W...

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My friend and I were walking down the street when we saw a beautiful girl drive by and whip out her breasts and shake them at us.

Me: "Wow! That was quite a show!"

Friend: "Sure, but I see that all the time at work."

Me: "You do? I thought you were worked in IT."

Friend: "Yeah. That was just a flash drive."

A woman pregnant with triplets was involved in a drive by shooting

She was shot three times in the belly, and a bullet hit each one of the babies. Everyone survived, but the doctor told the mother that one day, when their bodies are big enough, the kids will have to pass the bullet out of their system.

About 15 years later one of her daughters called the mot...

Little Timmy saw his dad drive by...

It's a sunny day, and little Timmy was outside playing by himself, when he saw his dad drive by with Aunt Karen in the passenger seat. They drive off into the woods nearby, and little Timmy runs after them to see what's going on. Upon learning what it is dad and Aunt Karen is doing out in the woods ...

When using Waze as GPS, if you drive by an accident where someone died, do you mark that down as an 'accident', or as 'roadkill'?

I know, too dark...

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Scientists Discover Food That Lowers Womens' Sex Drive By 90 Percent

'Wedding Cake'

A guy drives by a bridge and was stopped by a police...

Police: Congratulations sir! You are the millionth car to drive by this bridge since its opening. Here is your lucky reward of $10,000.

A reporter in stand-by rushed in to interview the lucky driver.

Reporter: Congratulations on your win! Can you tell me how do you feel now, and what w...

I see a border patrol car drive by...

So I ask my mexican co-woker if he has his visa. He looks at me cofused for a minute then says "no no I only have debit card" (true story)

A police officer sitting in his car on coffee break see's a car full of penguins drive by...

He throw's his cruiser in gear, calls it in on the radio and immediately pulls the penguin stuffed vehicle over. He walks up to the drivers side door, and being far too curious for formalities and protocol bluntly asks: "What in the hell do you think your doing driving aroud with all these damn peng...

What do we want? Hi speed Doppler effect cat drive by noises.

When do we want them?
MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwww.

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Guy and his Buddy are carpooling

and see a pair of dogs fucking on a lawn as they drive by.

Guy says to his buddy, "man, I sure wish I could get my old lady to let me give it to her like that".

Buddy says, "shit man, just give her two shots of tequila, she'll let you hit it however you want."

Next day Guy say...

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Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life.

I came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

Lance Armstrong ... I think i...

An old feller and the new city speed bumps

One day an old man is sitting with his daughter at breakfast, “have you driven by the parks lately?” He ask his daughter. The daughter replies “no, why do you ask dad?” The old man says “well every time I drive by the parks I hit these new speed bumps they put in, they scream if you drive too fast. ...

A man was pulled over by a police officer...

As the officer approached the vehicle he noticed a large number of knives in the back seat.

Looking at the driver he asked, "Sir, do you have a good reason for needing all those large knives?"

Smiling the driver said, "Why yes, I juggle them."

Realizing the officer was giving hi...

My grandpa's favorite joke

Two guys are driving from Kansas to Maine and they drive by a sign for Worcester, MA. They both look at eachother and say, 'how the hell do you pronounce that?" The driver says "War-chester", the passanger says, "Nah, its gotta be "wir-ster". They argue a bit and decide that the only way to know for...

What goes, "Klippty klop, Klippty klop, Klippty klop, Klip klop, Klip klop, Bang, Bang, Bang, Klippty klop, Klippty klop, Klippty klop,"

An Amish drive by shooting.

An old snail walks into a car dealership

An old snail walks into a car dealership and tells the salesman he's looking for the flashiest, most expensive sports car he's got. The old snail explains he's been working hard and saving his whole life and this car is to be his reward.

The salesman is thrilled and shows the old snail a brig...

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An elderly British couple are vacationing in Africa.

An elderly British couple have just arrived in Africa for a safari vacation and are being shuttled by taxi to their hotel. They drive by a rural village, and a man is outside, completely naked, with a ruler up against his penis.

"Blimey!" exclaims the wife, "what on earth is that bloke doing!...

A Swiss man goes to America

(This joke can be told using any nationality you want to make fun of, I’m telling it how my Swiss relatives told it to me)

A Swiss man is driving on the highway in America. At one point, he rear-ends an American car and they both pull over. The American walks over to the Swiss man, yelling ab...

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