What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.

What do you call a fast food company that also manufactures airliners?

McDonald's Douglas

My friend told me he is attracted to Christmas trees and people in animal costumes

He identifies as a douglas furry

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the beginning of class, the teacher introduced: "Children, today we welcome our new friend from Japan, his name is Suzuki Shakira."

Let start our lesson today by a few quizzes about American history !

\- Who said "Give me liberty or give me death." ?

The whole class was silent, only Suzuki raised his hand:

\- Patrick Henry, Philadelphia,1775.

\- Excellent ! Next one, who said "...government of the peo...

What do you call...

What do you call a man in a three foot deep hole?

Doug.

What do you call a man in a one foot deep hole?

Douglas ( say it out loud)

There’s a ton more..... fire away.

(Must be the dad in me but I love these types of jokes)

For anybody who doesn't believe vaccines cause autism...

My Douglas was vaccinated and is now nearly five years old. He has still not learned to speak a single word, cannot dress himself and is not even able to use the toilet.

Don't let vaccines ruin your dog's life too.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the people living life in peace.

**ME:** That’s beautiful.

**CARL DOUGLAS:** Okay, now imagine they were kung fu fighting.

**ME:** No, you’re right, that’s better. Carl’s is better.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another little Johnny joke

Little Johnny's teacher told the class that they were going to be quizzed about US presidents. Every correct answer will win that student a jellybean.

Teacher: Who was our 1st president?

Nobody raised their hands except the little Japanese boy in the front row

Boy: George Wa...

You can’t be woke all the time.

Even Fredrick Douglas wore cotton.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

History class

So Ms. Smith decides to ask the kids questions on U.S. history.
First question:"Can anyone name the first president".
All the kids are quiet but little Yoshi raises his hand "George Washington".
"Correct, you get a gold star".
Second question:"Which president ended slavery?".
Again, a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A reporter interviews a 100-year-old man...(long)

A man in the country turns 100 years old, and a reporter is sent to interview him.

"You must have had some pretty good experiences. Tell me about one."

"Well," replies the old-timer. "There was that time when I was a kid, when Mr. Douglas's sheep got lost in the woods. Me and my co...

What do you call a guy with a shovel on his head?

Doug .

What do you call a guy without a shovel on his head?

Douglas

What do you call...

...a man in a bush?

Russel!

...a man in a lake?

Bob!

...a man with a car on his head?

Jack!

...a man with a spade in his head?

Doug!

...a man without a spade in his head?

Douglas!

...a man with a toilet on his head?

Lou!...

An interview with a Pirate

A reporter was interviewing a pirate.
He asked, "Sir, how did you lose your leg?"
"Well, matey, that was back in the bloody war o' '72, when we cut the heads off o' every last one of the deadliest rascals on the Seven Seas, The Mutineers."
"How did you lose your hand?"
"T...

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