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Dougla Jokes

What do you call a Scottish man who’s lost his dog?

Douglas

What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.

Why did Abe Lincoln and Stephen Douglas get thrown out of the church?

Because they were caught mass debating in the bathroom.

My friend told me he is attracted to Christmas trees and people in animal costumes

He identifies as a douglas furry

For anybody who doesn't believe vaccines cause autism...

My Douglas was vaccinated and is now nearly five years old. He has still not learned to speak a single word, cannot dress himself and is not even able to use the toilet.

Don't let vaccines ruin your dog's life too.

What do you call...

What do you call a man in a three foot deep hole?

Doug.

What do you call a man in a one foot deep hole?

Douglas ( say it out loud)

There’s a ton more..... fire away.

(Must be the dad in me but I love these types of jokes)

You can’t be woke all the time.

Even Fredrick Douglas wore cotton.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his shovel?

His name was Douglas

What do you call a man...

With a car on his head? Jack.

In a hole? Phil.

Who always wins? Victor.

With a very loud voice? Mike.

In a pile of leaves? Russel.

Who cleans your house? Dustin.

With no arms and no legs in the middle of a lake? Bob.

Lying in front of your door? Matt....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

History class

So Ms. Smith decides to ask the kids questions on U.S. history.
First question:"Can anyone name the first president".
All the kids are quiet but little Yoshi raises his hand "George Washington".
"Correct, you get a gold star".
Second question:"Which president ended slavery?".
Again, a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the beginning of class, the teacher introduced: "Children, today we welcome our new friend from Japan, his name is Suzuki Shakira."

Let start our lesson today by a few quizzes about American history !

\- Who said "Give me liberty or give me death." ?

The whole class was silent, only Suzuki raised his hand:

\- Patrick Henry, Philadelphia,1775.

\- Excellent ! Next one, who said "...government of the peo...

An interview with a Pirate

A reporter was interviewing a pirate.
He asked, "Sir, how did you lose your leg?"
"Well, matey, that was back in the bloody war o' '72, when we cut the heads off o' every last one of the deadliest rascals on the Seven Seas, The Mutineers."
"How did you lose your hand?"
"T...

What do you call...

...a man in a bush?

Russel!

...a man in a lake?

Bob!

...a man with a car on his head?

Jack!

...a man with a spade in his head?

Doug!

...a man without a spade in his head?

Douglas!

...a man with a toilet on his head?

Lou!...

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