Constrictor Jokes - 7 Hilarious Constrictor Jokes

Did you hear the one about the guy who owned 40 cats and a pet boa constrictor?

Sorry, I mean the one about the guy with 39 cats and a pet boa constrictor...

upvote

downvote

report

Didn't know where to get a boa constrictor.

One of my friends recommended Amazon. I wasn't disappointed.

upvote

downvote

report

Little Johnny's trip to the zoo left him breathless

and the boa constrictor euthanized.

upvote

downvote

report

Sooo, are you....?

An elephant meets a boa for the first time. Intrigued, he asks him:

\- You're a weird creature ... how do you move? You have no legs.

\- Well, it's simple, I'm crawling…

\- Oh, Okay!

The elephant start to move, but, even more intrigued, he turns and asks again:

\- ...

upvote

downvote

report

Snakes are misunderstood

Constrictor snakes just want hugs and get carried away and then eat the evidence to stay out of snake prison because they AIN'T GOING BACK.

upvote

downvote

report

What do you get when you cross a snake with a plane?

A boeing constrictor

upvote

downvote

report

[OC] A programmer walks into a coffee shop

A programmer walks into a coffee shop on his lunch break with his pet, a black Labrador. He comes in with a scowl on his face and a furrowed brow, his expression showing a frustrated yet pensieve look about him. He asks for a plain, black coffee.

The barista compassionately eyed the man fo...

upvote

downvote

report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.