Blue Eye Jokes - 52 Hilarious Blue Eye Jokes

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Both of my parents have brown eyes, so I wasn't too surprised when my girlfriend asked me where I got my blue eyes from.

I'm not 100% certain, but I think they belong to the hitchhiker chained in the basement.

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide...

The first old guy says to the second guy,

'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'

The second old guy says,

'That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little des...

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The dying man

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk.

Then I saw her through the window. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor.

She rolled her deep blue eyes at me. I picked them up and rolled them back.

We ki...

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Online classified ad

Premature ejaculator in need of smoking hot size 6 blonde.

Preferably with blue eyes and huge double d....

Nevermind.

I swiped right on a girl without a picture, and we matched.

# So after a brief chat i went to go pick her up. I wasn't expecting much, probably 300 lbs with bad skin, but hey, I was so desperate it was this or join an incel chatroom.

I walked up to the door and lo and behold, 5'2", baby blue eyes, strawberry blonde hair, all the right curves in all th...

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Two Belgians walk into a police station

Two Belgians walk into a police station and say: "Our Dutch friend is missing. Please help us."

Officer: "Can you describe him to me?"

Belgians: "He's tall, has blue eyes and blonde hair"

Officer: "You described half the Netherlands with this. You got anything more specific?"...

Two girl twins are born. One is named Skye after her perfect blue eyes

The other has cataracts, so was called Claudia

What do you get when you cross a blue eye and a brown eye?

Pink eye

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My friend was dating two blonde haired, blue eyed twins from Sweden, but he couldn’t tell the difference between them.

He finally worked out that Anna has a little freckle on her right butt cheek, and Bjorn has a moustache.

When I took off my sunglasses, my roommate said, "I thought you had blue eyes."

I replied, "Must have left them in my other genes"

What did the blonde haired, blue eyed soldier become when he left the army?

A veteran aryan.

Why I am the way I am

My children asked me once why I am the way I am. So I told them.

One day, shortly after my first child was born, I came across an old lamp in a bundle of baby clothes. I wiped the lamp off, and a genie appeared and offered me three wishes. "But," the genie added, "your wishes will come with a...

My kid damaged my iphone so I am giving it away

He is 3 years old, blue eyes, blue hair...

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You and 2 friends of yours walk through a forest

after a while you lot stumble upon a hut, from which a weird old lady, resembling a witch, comes out from. She slowly says
*"...do not step on the purple flower..."*
and then goes back into her hut.

A little confused, you exchange looks with your friends, shrug, and keep walking.
...

At a job interview

The interviewer routinely asks “what do you see as your greatest strength?”

“I easily find the best in people to the point that at times i fall in love with them because of it”

“That’s interesting. How about your greatest weakness?”

“Those beautiful blue eyes of yours”

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The police asked me to identify what they thought was my girlfriends body.

They pulled the sheet back to show her blond hair, blue eyes and pretty face. "I can't be certain." I said. The sheet went down to reveal her creamy white breast and perky nipples. "Sorry, I'm still not sure." They took the sheet completely off. I stared at the pale body and shaved pussy, "That's de...

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I tried to kill a spider by spraying it with a whole can of White Rain hair spray

But that didn't work, now it's wearing blue eye shadow and chain smoking Virginia Slims.

A couple has 4 sons

The first three were tall with straight brown hair and brown eyes, but their youngest son was short with curly blond hair and blue eyes. When the husband was on his deathbed, he called his wife over and asked, "Is that 4th son mine?"
His wife said, "I swear, on all things holy, that child is your...

There was a very well liked guy named Jimmy, and had always aspired to be a pilot, just like his dad.

Unfortunately, life took many rough turns for him in high school; one night while driving late one night, his tire blew out and he lost his right eye. Having only half his vision, his dreams of being a pilot were crushed, and he didn't know what to do with his life.

Jimmy, now fitted with a b...

What do you call a blue eyed, blonde haired person who doesn't eat meat?

A vegetaryan

That's my wife

So, two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around a mall like they're in a real-life game of Mario Kart.

They collide, and the old guy turns to the young guy and says, 'Sorry about that, I'm just trying to find my wife. I'm getting up there in age, and my memory ain't what ...

Interviewer: What's your strength?

Candidate: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: What's your weakness?
Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.

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One morning eating my breakfast...

Just cereal, i was looking at the missing person part on the milk carton, and i had seen many of these before but some reason this one caught my eye, it read "Lilly, missing 2 weeks blonde hair, blue eyes, always happy". A few days later im sat in my office on the 50th floor and i look out of my win...

Men helping men.

I was at an Ikea this last weekend, wandering around the show room, when I absentmindedly ran into a young guy doing the same thing.

I apologized to him, explaining that I'd I'd been mesmerized by the massive quantity of things and had somehow wandered away from my wife. With my mind preoccup...

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Two strangers bump into each other

The one guy says to the other guy: "Oh sorry dude, I'm in a hurry since I lost my girlfriend in this huge supermarket."

"That's no problem man," says the other guy. "But I can't find my girlfriend neither!"

"Oh really? How does she look like?" asks the one guy.

The other guy say...

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The screw and the bellybutton

So a guy I work with told us this joke on the plane, went on for full 30' which made it even funnier smh, this is a short version:

A boy is born and is perfectly normal, arms legs ears and stuff, except a tiny detail: He had a screw on his bellybutton. Parents send him to all doctors imagina...

Performance VS Rehearsal

A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance!"

"A little later I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had ourselves anoth...

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a child with blonde hair and blue eyes?

I guess two Wongs really do make a white.

The man and the missing girl

A man got up one day and did his usual, went out in the morning to the shop for a few essentials. As he shopped he saw a poster about a missing girl...

“Young girl, teens, with blue eyes and blonde hair. Always smiling” it read.

He continued with his day, and the next, and the next....

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Two turbaned Punjabies Kuldip and Jagdip went to Paris and made friends with a young Frenchman named Jean Paul.

For several weeks these two stooges went everywhere Jean Paul went. One day Jean Paul went missing. These two looked everywhere for days but could not find Jean Paul. So they went to the Police and reported that Jean Paul is missing.

Policeman: Can you describe your friend Jean Paul?
Kul...

A speeding blonde.

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'...

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A guy searches for his wife at the supermarket..

A guy went to the supermarket w/ his wife, after a few minutes by the beverages section he realises his wife is missing. He then asks a guy (one that seems to be searching for someone too) near him:

- Husband: Hey dude, have you seen my wife?

- Stranger: Hey, I'm also looking for mine!...

Why shouldn’t you go into the jungle at 4pm?

Because that‘s when the elephants jump down from the plum trees.

Why do elephants have small blue eyes?
So that they can hide in plum trees.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a plum tree?
See, that proves how well the camouflage works.

Why are crocodiles so flat?
Becau...

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A farmer's only donkey ran away in the forest.

He packed up a few days ration and ventured into the jungle to find his animal. He searched and he searched but he couldn't find it, so he decided to retire for the night. He climbed up a tree, tied himself to the trunk so he doesn't fall down.

Just as he was about to sleep, he heard some rus...

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Mr. and Mrs White are in the delivery room of the hospital

waiting for the arrival of their newborn son. As the child emerges from the birth canal, a puzzled look comes over the doctor's face, as the child has jet black eyes, a flatter nose, and a few strands of black hair. He notices that Mr. and Mrs. White both have blue eyes and blonde hair. "This chi...

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Terrible jokes my Dad told me as a kid

Joke 1: How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The peanut butter has footprints

Joke 2: How do you know if an elephant is in your cherry tree? Elephants have blue eyes

I don't know if this has anything to do with how awful the jokes are, but my Dad immigrated fro...

3 women are in a horrible car crash and go to heaven.

3 women are in a horrible car crash and go to heaven. As they are approaching the gates of heaven they notice there are ducks that cover almost every inch of heaven. They ask St. Peter about the ducks.

“They are very sacred creatures and if you step on 1 you will be handcuffed to an ugly per...

My love, you remind me the sea...

Why? is it because of my beautiful blue eyes reminding you the ocean's water?

No

I know, it's because of my curly hair, reminds you the waves.

Not really.

So it's my perfume? reminds you that fresh air near the beach?

Nope.

So what is it then?

You mak...

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What's hitler's favorite yu-gi-oh card?

Blue eyes blond dragon.

An old granny and her grand daughter are chatting about granpa

-Did you love him, granma?
-Oh yes, i loved him so much. He was all my life, even tough he was so lazy.
-How come?
-You see, everytime there was something not working, he would never do anything about It. "Al, the sink Is broken." "Do i look like a plumber?" He would reply. "Hon, a brick fe...

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Millionaire marriage proposal

A bachelor Chinese millionaire is on a business trip in Los Angeles. He has had very bad luck finding the perfect bride in China and had given up hope of getting married. During his business presentation, he sees the perfect bride for him -- she is an intelligent, tall, slender single brunette wit...

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A traveler checked in at a hotel that advertised widely as offering

everything a client might desire. The traveler at once called room service. "I want to have brought to my room," he said, "a young virgin
between the ages of 18 and 19, who must have blonde hair and blue eyes. I also want sent up 4 pieces of strong rope, each exactly 4 feet in
length, and a ...

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A couple have surprise twins, and they name the girl Denise...

At a complete loss of what to name their bouncing baby boy, they employ the help of the father's brother.

He comes into the room and peers over the twins, assessing their features.
He rubs his chin, noticing how different the twins are.

Of course, one is a girl, and one is a boy....

The blond one

There was a typical blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blonde jokes.

One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of shee...

The Tale of Arnold Chegwin

When Arnold Chegwin was a young man, he decided that he wanted to be a pub.
He loved the pub after spending time in his local, "The Queen's Arms". 'I'd love to be a pub', he would think.
With a roaring fire and everybody inside me laughing away...

As time passed and he grew older, he se...

So, a middle school science class is learning about genetics

and the students are working with recessive and dominant eye colors in punnett squares. A few minutes into the activity one student beckons the teacher over. He has a very concerned look on his face.

The teacher is a little worried. This has happened before. Every once in a while a stud...

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The policemen, the driver and the Titanic

Two policemen stopped a Ferrari for a routine check.

Inside the car were a distinct black man, with curly black hair and raven black eyes.

- "Documents please ... "

The driver shows his license and registration certificate.

The patrol leader reads:

- "Name: Leona...

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A woman is at the checkout line in the grocery store...

And notices the bag boy is a real stud. Thick muscles under his smock, but his gorgeous blue eyes looked bored above his chiseled jaw. She slyly undid her top button to show some cleavage, but he never looked her way. Finally she purrs out a request for him to carry the bags to her car.
As they...

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The Test

John was very happy to be meeting his fiance's parent's for the first time. They agreed to meet at his house then drive to the local steakhouse. John arrived at the house on time and knocked on the door. His soon to be father in law answered it with a stern look on his face. John was invited in and ...

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The story of my rugby career

I was sitting at the bar enjoying a drink to myself When next thing the door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on. 5'11'' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an hourglass figure.

Barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top. I could see s...

A woman and her husband are having trouble with kids

A woman and her husband, both from Mexico, decided to have a family, seeing as their homeland is dangerous, they move to the united states.

They try to have a baby for many years but to no avail.

The husband feels something is wrong and wishes for her to go to a doctor but they have p...

Coming-of-age Family tradition

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had
all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that
special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on
the far side for their firs...

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