Asda Jokes - 6 Hilarious Asda Jokes

A supermarket greeter gets a new job at Asda

About two hours into his first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. He said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Asda. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’
T...

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I was in Asda earlier...

this thick was on the check-out, face like a slapped and all the charisma of a half eaten waffle.

I came to pay, I had only bought milk and bread but had no change.

"£1.03 please"

"Sorry this is all I've got," as I handed her a £20 note.

Haven't you got anythin...

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I was shopping in asda today....

I was shopping in Asda today and there was a weird looking child running around like a lunatic. I said to the bloke standing next to me, "that is one ugly kid." He looked at me and snarled, "do you mind, that's my son over there." I smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise you ...

True story

A few years ago, the (very attractive) checkout assistant in Asda asked the person in front of me for age ID. Ever the charmer I asked if she wanted to see my ID.

Quick as a flash she replied "Yeah, go on, show me your bus pass!"

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Xmas shopping manners

I was in the ASDA today with 2 trollies of ale when a little old lady got behind me in the queue.She only had a pint of milk, so I said "Is that all you've got love?” She said “yeah” I did the decent thing and said “if I were you I'd off to another till, I'm gonna be ages”

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Did you know while drunk is banned in Iceland?

I have no idea about asda or sainsburys so will try there later

(my wife told me this and made me laugh)

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