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Always On Jokes

What kind of doctor is always on call?

An oncologist!


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I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before.

how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”

One company owner asks another: “Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”

Bill replies: “Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”

What do you call a gangster who’s always on the hunt for a good deal?

Al Coupon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex

Because Chuck Norris never fucks up

Whats always on the ground but can't be picked up?

My will to live

Which Disney Princess is always on dating apps?

Tinderella.

What kind of doctor is always on call?

An oncologist.

Why are guitar shops always on one level?

Because No Stairway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When Donald Trump has sex, his female partner is always on top.

Because he can only fuck up.

Why are fish always on drugs?

They just keep getting hooked.

I’m always on the lookout for confirmation bias.

I see it everywhere I go.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate that my wife is always on the phone during sex.

She really needs to stop texting me at work.

Stormy Daniels said that Trump was always on bottom.

Because he always F*cks up.

Why is Wonder Woman's make up always on point?

She's from "Themascara."

My wife asked me why I’m always on the boat and I don’t spend time with her?

I told her she may be old but she is always wet and ready to go. And if anything goes wrong I can get rid of her for a new one. Lastly, if we get crabs together it’s a good thing.

I don’t get why they made Father’s Day always on Sunday.

I mean, it has “Thersday” right in the name.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is [friend's name] always on the bottom?

Because they won't stop fucking up

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