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Work Ethic Jokes

Playing Legend of Zelda has really improved my work ethic

My boss says that I'm "Hylian Efficient."

I have a bullet like work ethic

I perform like I have just been fired

I don't have a Protestant work ethic...

I have the Catholic work ethic; in that I don’t work... but I do feel very guilty about it.

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I'd kill for a good work ethic....

...But I just can't be arsed.

Never F#@k With Oldies...

“Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.
...

I have the work ethic of an ox -

If you tie a yoke to my shoulders and whip me until I move, I'm probably going to get a lot done.

When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.

I take the path of least resistance.

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Johnny gets a long weekend

On a Thursday near the end of the day a teacher tells the class that whoever can name the person who said a famous quote could have Friday off.

Teacher "Ok class, who can tell me who said 'There is nothing to fear but fear itself'?

Sally excitedly shouts "FDR!"

Teacher "Thats c...

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Do you know why they call it a blowjob?

... so it sounds like it has a sort of work ethic attached to it! It makes you feel like you did something useful for the economy!

\- George Carlin

The job interview

A young man went to his first interview. While sitting in the waiting room, he overheard a pair of men talking to each other at the receptionist desk.

"Man, I feel great today. Woke up at the crack of dawn again!"

"Oh yeah, I woke up at the crack of Dawn last week."

The secret...

A Blonde girl is going door to door trying to earn money for college.

She comes to one guy's house and rings the doorbell.

"Yes?" the man answers.

"Hi there!" greets the blonde happily. "I'm trying to earn money for college. Do you have any jobs around the house you need done?"

The guy smiles. "Sorry, sweetheart, not really. I was gonna paint th...

The ultimate catch-22.

My boss said I need to improve my work ethic.

I told him I'd work on it.

The effects of COVID-19 on Trump

White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany said “President Trump remains in good spirits, has mild symptoms, and has been working throughout the day.”

Who'd have guessed COVID-19 would improve Trump's work ethic?

An American tourist in Ireland...

An American tourist is on holiday for a few weeks in country Ireland.

On his second day he has to cash a cheque at a bank so he goes to the bank on the high street.

While waiting in line he looks out the window & notices 2 irish council workers going up 1 side of the street, then t...

Before John was a traveling salesmen

Before John was a traveling salesman he worked door to door on foot. He actually came from an upper middle class family but had a healthy work ethic and a humble yet dull nature from aristocratic inbreeding a few generations back..

It was his birthday and his eccentric mother had told John he...

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- Doctor, kiss me!

- I can't. We, the doctors, follow a very strict work ethic that does not allow us to kiss our patients.
Honestly speaking, I should have never even fucked you in the first place!

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Paddy goes to a work seminar.

Paddy is attending a seminar on ‘work ethic’.


In the room is a bloke called Max, a carriage clock and a dwarf mother of three.


‘Right Paddy,’ the dwarf says, ‘Max & I are going to demonstrate some examples of our attitude to work. Afterwards we’d like you to show us an exam...

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This isn’t a hotel...

Back when I lived with my dad my brother and I were strictly raised to have good manners. Old fashioned manners. For instance when we had our grandparents over we were to set the table and clear the table including everyone's dishes. If we ever asked dad or anyone else to help out we always got the ...

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