UPJOKE
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I don't have a Protestant work ethic...

I have the Catholic work ethic; in that I don’t work... but I do feel very guilty about it.

I have a bullet like work ethic

I perform like I have just been fired

I have the work ethic of an ox -

If you tie a yoke to my shoulders and whip me until I move, I'm probably going to get a lot done.

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I'd kill for a good work ethic....

...But I just can't be arsed.

When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.

I take the path of least resistance.

Charles, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time.

Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late.
But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older Person Friendly” policies.

One day the boss called him into the office for a talk.
“Charles, I have to tel...

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Do you know why they call it a blowjob?

... so it sounds like it has a sort of work ethic attached to it! It makes you feel like you did something useful for the economy!

\- George Carlin

The ultimate catch-22.

My boss said I need to improve my work ethic.

I told him I'd work on it.

A Blonde girl is going door to door trying to earn money for college.

She comes to one guy's house and rings the doorbell.

"Yes?" the man answers.

"Hi there!" greets the blonde happily. "I'm trying to earn money for college. Do you have any jobs around the house you need done?"

The guy smiles. "Sorry, sweetheart, not really. I was gonna paint th...

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Johnny gets a long weekend

On a Thursday near the end of the day a teacher tells the class that whoever can name the person who said a famous quote could have Friday off.

Teacher "Ok class, who can tell me who said 'There is nothing to fear but fear itself'?

Sally excitedly shouts "FDR!"

Teacher "Thats c...

An American tourist in Ireland...

An American tourist is on holiday for a few weeks in country Ireland.

On his second day he has to cash a cheque at a bank so he goes to the bank on the high street.

While waiting in line he looks out the window & notices 2 irish council workers going up 1 side of the street, then t...

The effects of COVID-19 on Trump

White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany said “President Trump remains in good spirits, has mild symptoms, and has been working throughout the day.”

Who'd have guessed COVID-19 would improve Trump's work ethic?

Before John was a traveling salesmen

Before John was a traveling salesman he worked door to door on foot. He actually came from an upper middle class family but had a healthy work ethic and a humble yet dull nature from aristocratic inbreeding a few generations back..

It was his birthday and his eccentric mother had told John he...

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Paddy goes to a work seminar.

Paddy is attending a seminar on ‘work ethic’.


In the room is a bloke called Max, a carriage clock and a dwarf mother of three.


‘Right Paddy,’ the dwarf says, ‘Max & I are going to demonstrate some examples of our attitude to work. Afterwards we’d like you to show us an exam...

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- Doctor, kiss me!

- I can't. We, the doctors, follow a very strict work ethic that does not allow us to kiss our patients.
Honestly speaking, I should have never even fucked you in the first place!

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