UPJOKE
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No good deed goes unpunished

Like the other day when I gave up my seat to this old, frail lady, only to lose my job as a bus driver.

An orchestra is performing Chopin

Halfway through the performance a cellist bursts into the concert hall, late and drunk as a skunk. He then pushes his way to his seat and starts awkwardly sawing away at his cello as if nothing was awry.

The conductor was furious! He snapped his baton and dove at the cellist, choking him to d...

A choir boy goes to confession...

He says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."

The priest asks, "What is your sin, my child?"

"I've had carnal knowledge of a girl, Father."

"My son, it is good that you have confessed this to me but wasting your innocence on these base acts is a sin. In order to fully redeem ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old mechanic friend helps a drunk. (Kinda long, sorry.)

I was talking to this grizzled old mechanic friend one time, he looked like an old version of Yosemite Sam. Had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, sounded like an old cowboy, his big ol' handlebar mustache wiggling and twitching with every word. Suddenly he starts telling this story about how he ...

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