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Student Loans Jokes

Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college.

I don't think I can ever repay you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between my wife and my student loans?

My student loans fuck me with interest.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having student loans is like being in a shitty marriage.

They fuck you once a month for 25 years,

they make you feel guilty about every dollar you spend,

and you spend an unhealthy amount of time wondering if you could fake your death to get out of the whole arrangement.

Due to the size of my student loans for my phd I have debts no honest man could pay....

Luckily I'm a statistician.

Why did my cat get screwed on his student loans?

He forgot to read the second claws

The Department is Education is canceling $150 million in student loans.

Those are a lucky 4 people.

Shout out to my student loans

for being the only one from college keeping in touch

After years of hard work after college, I finally paid back my student loans.

I wish I can post this in a different sub.

A horse walks into a bar.

"Why the long face?" the bartender asks...


"Haha," the horse replies, sarcastically, "Haven't heard that one before."


"Just got the news," the horse continues, "I've been accepted into college."


Bartender says, "That's great news! You should be celebrating."
<...

What do you call a starship that works multiple jobs and can't pay of it's student loans?

The Millennial Falcon

I got my student loans down from 100k to 50k overnight with this super easy life hack.

Divorce

When I first got my student loans, I thought they were great.

Now, they're outstanding!

I nearly paid off my student loans today, I was so close! But then I got an unexpected bill for my gym membership.

I didn't even know we had a gym at the nursing home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a brothel

A man walks into a brothel one day and says to the woman: “I’m here to enjoy an evening with a young woman. Is this a fine establishment?”

The woman replies “oh absolutely! This is the finest establishment that you’ll find within a 300 mile radius!”

The man states “great! I have a 12 i...

What goes up but not down?

Student Loans

Smoking cigarettes isn't completely bad for you,

Just think, for every cigarette you smoke it takes 7 minutes off your student loans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A recent college graduate decided to turn to prostitution

Due to his huge student loans and low salary, so he placed a large sign that read:

One sexy time on the floor: 25$

One sexy time on the couch: 50$

One sexy time on the Bed: 100$

Then an old lady sees the sign and quickly runs to the bank makes a quick withdrawal and goes ...

I recently made an impossible escape room and I’m extremely proud!

It’s called Student Loans.

My teacher told me to "pay attention"

And I say "sorry, my student loans don't cover it"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between a dick and a Ferrari?

I’d only have to get plowed by a Ferrari once to pay off my student loans.

Trump shutting down the border would be the best thing for millennials

Once the avocado market dries up they can finally pay off their student loans and buy a house

If anyone is Christmas shopping for me...

I take a size large in student loans.

I was taken advantage of my first day of college

I was young.

There were more than one of them.

They wanted my interest and they got it.

They said I couldn't back out.

And it won't be that bad.

I took more than I could handle and it hurt.

Now it burdens me every day.

They said after college th...

Hey cutie, are you the economy?

Because you're almost as crippling as my student loans and anxiety.

A recent university graduate wins $1 million dollars, and is being interviewed by the news.

A recent university graduate wins $1 million dollars, and is being interviewed by the news.

News anchor: So what will you do with the money?

The graduate: I will pay off my student loans.

News anchor: And what will you do with the rest?

The graduate: They'll have to wait...

My best Friend Wasted His Medical School Training

After seven years of medical school and training my good friend was fired because of one little indiscretion, and can no longer work in the profession he had dedicated his life to. He slept with a patient. He is still paying back student loans. His family is devastated. It's such a damn shame be...

A boomer, a millennial, and a Gen Z kid walk into a bar

They sit down at a table and order a bottle of whiskey. The boomer pours a tall glass for himself and says, "There ain't no social security left, so I'm pouring myself a big glass of whiskey!" Then, the millennial grabs the bottle an pours a medium sized glass and says, "I've got $100,000 in student...

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