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Staring Contest Jokes

For those of you guys practicing for a staring contest, here’s some advice.

Take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror.

Staring contest

My best friend said he’d beat anyone in a staring contest
Me: Anyone?
My friend: Anyone!
Me: Can you beat my pet in one?
My friend: Absolutely.
Me: Do it
My friend: Alright

No one tell him but I have a pet goldfish

A Viking sailed across Europe challenging people to staring contests.

He was so confident in his abilities that he promised to hand over all of the gold he had pillaged to anyone who could defeat him. The news spread throughout Europe, catching the attention of a couple in Ireland whose daughter was born without eyelids.

Believing that their daughter was guaran...

I was in a long staring contest with the sun.

Everything is dark now, dare I say it, I must have won.

Which section of the house wins at staring contests 100% of the time?

The stairs.

I had a staring contest with the sun and I won!

The sun must’ve blinked since there doesn’t seem to be any light anymore!

I just won a staring contest with the sun..!

I was staring at it for like 3 minutes and eventually the sun just gave up and everything went black..knowing I didn’t close my eyes I must’ve won. There’s no other explanation..

Whenever my Dad and I disagree, we settle it with a staring contest.

Then we see eye to eye.

In America, we hold staring contests.

In Asia, they squint.

I'm hosting a staring contest next week.

If you're interested keep your eyes open.

No one competes against Tom in staring contests anymore. He’s a cheat...

...he uses stareoids.

My dad was so Competitive that on his death bed, as he breathed his last

He said, "Staring contest... GO."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Keanu Reeves jokes

I feel like we should start making 'Keanu Reeves' jokes like 'Chuck Noris' jokes!
Keanu Reeves can gargle peanutbutter.
Some kids wear Superman PJs, Superman wears Keanu Reeves PJs
Keanu Reeves had a staring contest with the sun, and won
Why did the chicken cross the road, it was follo...

My grandpa was very competitive...

My grandpa was so competitive with me and would always try to win any game we played. Baseball. Soccer. Even who could eat the most corn dogs.

But I’ll never forget his last words to me as he was about to pass away, he look at me wide eyes and with his last breath he said…

…”staring c...

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