UPJOKE
white as snowwhitewhitelywhitenesswhitishsnowywhityprowhitewhitenhyperwhitewhitsterantiwhitesnowwhiteycaucasian

Snow White Jokes

Snow White was in the bathtub, feeling sleepy.

Then he got out, so she felt Dopey instead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I walked in on Snow White having sex

Needless to say, she wasn't fucking happy.

Pinocchio, Snow white, and Superman

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine.

As they walked, they come across a sign: "Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I am entering!" said Snow White.

After half an hour she comes out an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Snow White, while living among the dwarves, had come to puberty. This did not go unnoticed by the dwarves. Being the little perverts they are, they decided to climb on each other's shoulders outside her window to peep on her changing. The one on top would then whisper the one below what he sees, who...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Snow White and the Prince decided to buy the Seven Dwarfs a hot tub.

They all got in and started feeling Happy. So he got out and left, now they're all fucking Grumpy.

Why doesn’t anybody want to be one of Snow White’s Dwarfs?

Because 6 out of 7 Dwarfs aren’t allowed to be Happy.

I got a job crafting toy models of the dwarves from Snow White.

The pay sucks, but I'm not lying when I tell people I make seven figures.

Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White?

'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.

*Joke's from my Dad and his friend*

Snow White decides to take a cruise

Snow White decides to take a cruise, but she can't bring all of the dwarves with her. To make sure she has a good time, she only brings along happy and sleepy.

Unfortunately when they go to board the boat there's a problem.

There's no doc

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Snow White, Superman and Pinocchio are walking in the city...

When they see a house with the sign on "Words prettiest woman contest". Snow White goes in and comes back out all happy, tiara on her head as a winner". They keep walking and see a gym with the sign up "Worlds strongest man contest". Superman goes in and comes back out as a winner with a trophy in h...

Snow White, a dwarf and Freddy Krueger are having an argument

Snow White says "I'm the most beautiful person in the world! I know it!" The dwarf says "Stop lying, of course you're not! But I'M the shortest person on this earth." Freddy Krueger says "Well, I'm the ugliest person on earth!" Snow white says "Guys, stop arguing! We can just go to the magic mirror ...

What's the seven dwarf's nickname for snow white?

Heigh Ho.

Snow White and the Three Dwarfs met Goldilocks and the Seven Bears at a party last week

They exchanged numbers

One morning Snow White said to her prince, "I haven't visited the seven dwarves in ages. I think I'll visit them for a week."

The next day, Snow white came back to the castle in a huff.

"Why are you back so early?" asked the prince.

"Grumpy harassed me," replied Snow White.

"What happened?"

"Well, as soon as I entered the cottage, he told me my hair smelled nice."

"That doesn't sound like...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thumbelina, Snow White, and Stalker 2 were walking through the forest

Thumbelina, Snow White, and Stalker 2 are walking through the forest.

Thumbelina says, “I'm the smallest in the world.”

Snow White says, “And I'm the most beautiful in the world.”

Stalker 2 says, “I'm the most anticipated game.”

They keep walking and walking until they fi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did snow white get kicked out of disneyland?

She was caught sitting on pinoccios face yelling lie you stupid fucker

What did Snow White complain after a week with the dwarves?

"I would have rather have a 7 inch one time than one inch 7 times"

Snow White started a tutoring center for the Dwarves to teach them math.

She called it "Making the Little Things Count"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why wasn’t the ‘Snow White and seven dwarfs’ porn parody successful?

There were too many short comings.

Why doesn’t Snow White have any children?

She’s still waiting for her prince to cum

What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil?

Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.

Superman, Snow White, and Quasimodo visit the mirror on the wall

Superman wants to ask if he is the strongest of them all. So, he goes to ask the mirror and when he comes back he is proud of himself and says, "Yes, yes! I am the strongest of them all." Next Snow White wants to know if she is the prettiest of them all. She goes and asks the mirror and comes back ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How the Seven Dwarfs got their names..

Miss Snow White was a randy cow
And desperate for a fcuk,
So off she went into the woods
To try and get some luck.

She’d almost given up looking
When she saw some chimney smoke,
Then she stumbled on the cottage
And went on in for a poke.

Her clothes came off in second...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

**News Flash** Snow White has been kicked out of Disney Land!!

She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie you bastard, lie!".

What did Snow White say when she came out of the photobooth?

Someday my prints will come…

Did you hear about the evil queen who screwed up her own fairy tale and turned Snow White into The Little Mermaid?

She misread the directions and sent a poisson apple

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I barged into Snow White's room to find out what all the noise was about.

I'll tell you one thing, she wasn't fucking happy.

I auditioned to be on the remake of "Snow White"

but i was turned away as i wasn't on the short list

Snow White and the Farm Hand

A newly hired farm hand is tending to his daily duties when he's approached by Snow White.

"How are you today, good sir?" she asks.

"Very good, Snow White." He responds

"How are the animals today? Have you yet to ask them?" She asks.

A bit confused, the farm hand answers...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the 7 dwarves say when Snow White finally woke up?

"Looks like we're back to jerking off again".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" "You are fair my queen, but Snow White is fairer."

Earlier:

Mirror: "Send Nudes"

Snow White: "Ok" *Takes off dress*

My password needed to be 8 characters.

So I used “Snow White and the Seven
Dwarves.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Snow White turns yellow when she's angry instead of red?

because she's pissed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Prince charming wants to get married.

Prince charming want to get married, finds Snow White and asks:

Will you marry me?

"Of course, Majesty."

Prince charming shows his penis and asks:

Do you know what this is?

"Your beautiful penis, Prince.

I'm leaving. I want an innocent woman.

The Prin...

Pope and the Seven Dwarves

The Pope arrives to give a small sermon to Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Shortly into the sermon, Dopey puts his hand up and asks, "Are there any dwarven nuns in Rome?"

"No", the Pope replies, and continues his service.

Not long passes and Dopey puts his hand up again and as...

Breaking news! Snow White down to six dwarves...

...Sneezy has been quarentined by the CDC

[NSFW] The seven dwarfs decided one day that they’re going to watch Snow White get undressed

So they go outside and stack themselves on top of each other to peer through her window:

Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Sneezy, Bashful, Sleepy, Dopey

“She’s taking off her shirt...”

“She’s taking off her shirt...”

“She’s taking off her shirt...”

...

“She’s taking off ...

The dwarfs from Snow White want to tell their story

They’ve signed a seven-figure book deal

What did Snow White get when she went to the pub with the Dwarves?

Seven Up n' Cider

Which Disney princess would be the best judge?

Snow White, because she's the Fairest One of All.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of my dad, who passed away on Wednesday...here is his favorite joke.

Man finds the magic mirror (from Snow White) and gets excited to have his wish come true. So he chants: Magic Mirror on the Wall, make my penis touch the floor!

poof

His penis touches the floor.

His legs are also shorter. Way. Shorter.

How many dwarves can fit in a box?

I'm not sure you should ask Snow White

It's almost Halloween

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "You can tell its getting closer to Halloween," the guy tells the bartender. "Just today I saw a gal dressed up like Snow White working in the shoe store down in the local shopping center .... She was the fairest of the mall."

What is perfectly adorable, good as new, and has seven tiny dents in it...

Snow White's hymen.

One day the Seven Dwarfs decided they wanted to see Snow White naked.

Their only option was to spy on her in the shower. They decided to stand on each others shoulders and watch through a small window above the bathroom door. Dopey being the smallest he was on top, calling down to the others what he saw.

"She's taking off her skirt" He whispers to the next one...

Three pregnant women are chatting in a cafe.

Heather says, "I got my ultrasound done yesterday. I'm pregnant with triplets!"

"I got mine done yesterday too," says Linda. "I'm pregnant with septuplets!"

"I think I'll get my ultrasound done next week," says Martha.

The three women chat some more. Finally, Heather says, "I go...

What did the seven dwarfs sing about Snow White after she hit her first line of cocaine?

High HOE!!!!

Men develop a type based on their favorite Disney princess.

I had a friend who was really into Cindarella and exclusively dates blonde women. Another loved snow white and is married to a woman with obsidian black hair. I was really into The Little Mermaid and that's why I am not allowed into the Fish Market anymore.

A Disney Language Joke I made up

The Disney Princesses had cats. Tiana's was named One, Two, Three, Snow White's was Eins, Zwei, Drei, and Belle's was named Une, Deux, Trois. They decided to put the cats on rafts and race them.

Tiana and Snow White's cats made it to the end, but Belle's died because

Une, Deux, Trois,...

An Act of Malicious Conpliance

Teacher: Write a short story. You have a strict 140-character limit.

Student: Once upon a time, Snow White lived with 139 Dwarves. The end.

What’s red and has 7 little dents?

Snow White’s Cherry

I needed the best/worst password possible that was 8 characters long. Guess what I picked...

**"I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."**



Sorry I was *short* on time for this one!

During the last school play I felt funny and came over queasy.

At which point I was told to leave the production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

Two girls are sitting in a bar

The one girl says: "Take my phone, can you please call my mother that I'll be home soon? I really need to use the bathroom now."

The other girl answers: "Sure, what is your password?"

"Snow White and all the seven dwarfs." the one girl replies.

The other girl frowns and asks: "S...

You know this Coronavirus thing is bad

When Snow White is down to 6 dwarves. I just heard sneezy is now in quarantine

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Disney jokes

PINOCCHIO
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of we...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.