Single Women Jokes - 12 Hilarious Single Women Jokes

Why are married women heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Why are married women fatter than single women?

A single woman looks in her fridge, sees nothing appetizing and goes to bed.

A married women looks in her bed, sees nothing appetizing and goes to the fridge.

Why do single women take advice from other single women?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions

Why do banks hate hot, single women?

Because they are alone with no interest.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Single women can't fart.

They don't have an asshole until they're married.

"It's been proven that 9 out of 10 single women who .....

"It's been proven that 9 out of 10 single women who sit at home and have conversations with their cats are mentally disturbed."
My dog's full of useful information like that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Adblock makes you unattractive to women...

I just installed it and now all the horny single women in my area have lost interest in me.

To all of the single women out there, I on behalf of millions of other men agree that the slogan "a best way to a man's heart is his stomach"...

should not be interpreted by vegans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A French man, a Brazilian man, a American man and an English man died. They got to the Heaven's Gate, where they were received by Saint Peter.

\- That's how it works. - said Peter. - To get in, you need to have a clean mind, good thoughts, no malicious at all. Thus, I'll test you basing your fate on your answer. Alright?

The four men lined up.

\- First, the French. - said Peter. - Answer me: where do women have more curly ha...

I’m sick and tired of all these mandates..

Any single women out there who’d like to go out for dinner?

A jewelry store owner and his two employees go on lunch break together

At the restaurant they find a lamp on the booth seat.

The owner rubs it and a genie appears; "Ye who have summoned me, I will grant three wishes. Since there's three of you here, you each get one wish."

The first employee says "I wish I was riding a jetski by a tropical beach crowded ...

There was this physicist who came to the ice cream bar every day

to buy two ice creams: one for himself and another that he offers to the empty spot next to him.

Eventually, the ice cream salesman asks him: "Why do you keep doing that?"

P: "Well... quantum mechanics teach us that it's theoratically possible for a girl to spontaneously burst into exi...

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