Signalman Jokes

Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?"

Billy Bob replied, "I would switch the points for one of... read more

"Tell the signalman to warn that boat to turn to port to avoid a collision."

But the light flashes back "*YOU* turn to port to avoid a collision."

The captain, incensed, sends the message "This is a 200 kiloton aircraft carrier with 50 war planes, atomic bombs and cruise missiles! ... read more

The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow."

"Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.

Lo... read more