UPJOKE
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In which state is the Great Salt Lake?

Liquid

Did you hear about the guy with dementia floating out into the great salt lake?

He was drifting slowly into salinity.

When I passed through Nevada, all i saw were ho's. Then in Utah, I didnt see as many, but there were quite a few ho's if you looked. When I left Salt Lake City, the truth hit me like a brick when I crossed the border...

Idaho.

The Pope receives a phone call...

...and on the other side is Jesus. Jesus says that now is the time, the Second Coming is upon humanity, and that he is letting all his followers know about this, and he thought he should give the Pope, a devout follower, a call. Jesus also tells the Pope He has good news and bad news.

"What's...

Travel trouble

I couldn’t decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. “Airfare to Denver is $300,” the cheery salesperson replied.

“And what about Salt Lake City?”

“We have a really great rate to Salt Lake—$99,” she said “But there is a stopo...

I was talking to my physics teacher...

Teacher: hey, do you know what salt lake city is?
Me: yeah
Teacher: cool, you know what den city is?
Me: no?
Teacher: oh, its mass over volume

God calls the Pope one day...

The Pope was working at his desk when the phone rings."Hello, this is the Pope."

He immediately recognized the voice at the other end of the line. "My son, this is Jesus Christ. I have called you to give you some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I have returned to the Earth...

A Cardinal enters the Pope's residence.

"Your Holiness, I have some very good news and some very bad news", he says.

"My son, I've had a hard day. Please give me the good news first to cushion the bad news." The Pontiff requests.

"Your Holiness, I just received a phone call from Jesus and he has returned to Earth to bring Th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are on a train...

Two men sit down opposite each other on a train. Looking at each other, they realise they each have a black eye.

"How did you get yours?" the first man asks.

The second man replies "Well, I got the same train yesterday, from the station attendant that has rather large breasts.

"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Cardinal comes rushing into the pope’s private residence in the Vatican and says ‘Your highness, I have some extremely important information that I need to share with you’.

The pope looks at the cardinal with some concern and says ‘Ok, let’s hear it’.
The cardinal takes a deep breath and says ‘Well I’ve got some really good news, and I’m afraid I’ve got some really bad news’.
The pope walks over to the Cardinal and places a hand on his shoulder and says, ‘No...

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