This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The doctor asked me how bad my premature ejaculation condition was...

I said, "I'm going to be honest doc, it's touch and go."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During his surgery, my grandpa kept waking up, grabbing the nurse's boobs, laughing, then flatlining until they restarted his heart again.

He's pretty touch and go right now...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, there's these two tomatoes who are best friends ...

Ever since they grew up on the vine together, they've been inseparable. They played little league together, they had home room together all through high school, they even double dated to prom and shared a limo. As time went on, though, they slowly lost touch. During university they slowly lost touch...

News flash! Britney Spears badly injured after shelving unit containing a single Nintendo console collapses on top of her...

Doctors say her condition is touch and go.

A spokesperson for Ms Spears said her last words were "my lonely NES is killing me."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Car on Fire!!!

Driving home late one night, a man spotted a car on fire. He rushed over to help and saw that a beautiful woman was trapped inside, bleeding to death. He dragged her to safety from the flames, wrapped her in a blanket and drove her to the nearest hospital. Over the next six months, he regularly dona...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the doctor for some help dealing with my premature ejaculation.

He gave me some advice, a few brochures to read, and a prescription for some medication that might help.

Two weeks later, he called me to ask how it was going.

I said, "It's still touch and go."

We saw a patient in the emergency room today...

He had fallen into an upholstering machine.
It was touch and go for a while but...

 

...he's fully recovered.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.