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Pay Check Jokes

I read that if you're unsure about how much to spend on an engagement ring, a monthly pay check is a good guideline.

So I spent £200 and gave most of the ring to our landlord.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blue Collar Joke

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers....

A married man left work early on Friday and went out for a few drinks with the boys. Instead of going home, however, he ended up partying with them all weekend and spent his entire pay check.

When he finally returned home on Sunday, his wife was furious and berated him excessively.
After a couple of hours of nagging and scolding, she asked him "**How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days**?!?"


"That would suit me just fine!!" the man said.
...

I like my job but my boss keeps paying me under the table.

I’m not sure why he has me crawl under there to hand me my pay check.

My boss said to me...

'Why do you break out in a rash every time I give you your pay check?'

Me: 'I'm allergic to peanuts!'

A soldier walks into his commanding officers tent

A soldier walks into his commanding officers tent and asks “Sir, I’ve lost my rifle, What do I have to do to get another” The Commanding officer says “Well if that’s the case we will take the 700 pounds out of your pay check to purchase a new one” the officer turns around to fill out the paper work ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a stutter started his new job on a construction site...

Not sure if this is a repost, my father told me it when I was 11 years old.

A man with a stutter (Dave) started his new job on a construction site and was walking around with one of his colleagues (Jim) being given a tour of the site.
“Th-th-this is a pretty cool p-p-place. I’m so h-happ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Retired Sailor

An old sailor comes to shore for the last time, as he is retiring. He says goodbye to his crew and with his final pay check he decides to treat himself. Having been on the ship for many months with an all male crew, he decides to enlist the services of a prostitute. He pays her, and they head to a m...

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