UPJOKE
singnosticismtotal depravityconcupiscencejohn calvinpaul the apostlemartin lutherpelagianismgarden of edenirenaeussinfulheavenancestral sinforbidden fruitbishop of lyon

The Original Sin

When God found out that Eve gave Adam the forbidden fruit, he decided that she deserved to be punished. Her sin was so terrible that also every other woman would have to pay for Eve’s treason. God sentenced them all to pay with their blood... but through convenient monthly installments.

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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community..

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

What is it called when you talk about the original sin in Israel?

You tell of Eve

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The Pope announces he's kicking all the Jews out of Rome...

Outraged, the Jewish community call for a chance to debate the Pope and fight to stay.


They elect their best Rabbi and he travels to the Vatican to sit down with the Pope and plead for the Jews right to stay in Rome.


Since the Pope only speaks Latin and the Rabbi only s...

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A king declares that all Jewish people must leave the kingdom, unless one can beat his priest in a contest.

The rules are simple: without saying a single word, the contestants must argue their faith until one concedes. Among the Jewish citizens, only one old man steps forward to compete.

The priest and the old man take the stage before a crowd, and the contest begins.

The priest raises his ...

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Theological debate

One day, the Pope decided he'd ban all Jews from the Vatican. The Jews understandibly got really angry about this, so the Pope proclaimed that if a Jew could manage to beat him in a theological debate, they could stay.

The Jews chose their wisest rabbi for the religious debate against the Pop...

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One Pope, in the Dark Ages, decreed that all Jews had to leave Rome...

...The Jews did not want to leave, and so the Pope challenged them to a disputation to prove that they could remain. No one, however wanted the responsibility… until the synagogue janitor, Moishe, volunteered.

As there was nobody else who wanted to go, Moishe was given the task. But because h...

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God's punishment

God gave women labor pains and monthly bleeding as the punishment for the original sin. Men's punishment is to be with his wife and listen to her problems. That's why god hates homosexuals. They found a loophole in this system.

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The pope decided to kick out all the Jews from Italy

So one day the pope decided to kick out all the Jews in Italy, and of course the Jews had a thing or two to say about that.

After much uproar the pope relented and said "take 3 days to find your most wisest rabbi and he and I will have a silent battle of knowledge. If I win you leave, if you ...

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A rabbi and the Pope have a religious debate

Several of the Pope's officials are concerend about the growing Jewish population in Rome, so the encourage the Holy Father to set up a religious debate with the head Rabbi. If the Rabbi loses, he must leave Rome. If he wins, they can stay.

However, the Rabbi doesn't speak Italian or Latin an...

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One day the Pope...

Decides to get rid of all the Jews in the Vatican. Of course this brings an uproar in the Jewish community until finally the pope calls for a silent debate for the Jews to stay. So the Jews send the Rabbi.

The Pope and Rabbi start their debate, with the pope raising three fingers. The Rabbi r...

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The Pope wakes up one day and decides he doesn't want any Jews in Rome

The Pope calls the Rabbi for Rome and informs him of his decision. The Rabbi protests and says "Wait, that's it, we're not even gonna talk about this?" So the Pope asks what he wants to do and the Rabbi says that he wants to have a debate the following week. The Pope agrees and they part ways.
...

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Two warring nations....(kinda long)

Two warring nations have been fighting over their "holy land" for hundreds upon hundreds of years. One day, they decide to send their best philosopher to a duel of knowledge, to determine who truly deserves the "holy land". The only dilemma is neither nation speaks the same language.

So the t...

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A pope in the middle ages is trying to kick the Jews out of Rome...

And the Jewish population is able to convince him to hear out their side first before making them leave. The pope agrees, but the only Jewish man who thinks himself to be a good enough debater is the rabbi, Moishe. But since Moishe only speaks Hebrew and the Pope only Latin and Italian, they agree t...

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During the Dark Ages, the Pope decrees that he is going to expel all of the Jews out of Europe...

...naturally, the Jews aren't very happy with this. Jewish people all over Europe start protesting in the streets, demanding that the Pope change his mind and let the Jewish people stay. Since the protests and riots are starting to get a bit chaotic and violent, the Pope creates a proposition. He wi...

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One day the pope decided to throw all the Jews out of Rome...

He made an announcement to the Jewish community: "Send me your smartest scholar to convince me why I should let the Jewish people stay and I may reconsider my stance." The Roman Jewish community sent Rabbi Moshe, a 78 year old Hebrew school teacher and, according to everyone but himself, the smartes...

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