Movie Ticket Jokes - 7 Hilarious Movie Ticket Jokes

Movie tickets

So... I went to the movies last night. I ended up having to buy 6 tickets because there was this idiot inside who kept tearing them up.

Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes?

It would only admit one.

Yesterday, I approached a gorgeous girl, and she was pleased, which wasn't something I expected

I asked the girl for a movie.

She : "Which movie"? with a sweet smile.

Me : "You decide".

She : "No, you should decide"

Me : "No, you decide"

She : "Sir, please select which movie ticket you want. There are others behind you in the line as well"

Got a Tinder match.

Our first meet up, we were standing there when she leaned closer and whispered, “I see that bulge in your jeans. If you pull that out, maybe we’ll BOTH have a nice evening.”
So, I pulled out my wallet and paid for both movie tickets.

A frog, a duck, and a skunk want to go to the movies together

A frog, a duck, and a skunk want to go to the movies together. But, when they go up to the ticket booth, the man working there tells them that only the frog and the duck can watch the movie.

"What?! Why can't I?" asks the skunk.

"Well, the movie tickets cost $1 each. The duck has a bil...

Clever Husband.

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: It's for you and your parents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can your dick reach (original version]

I am sick of seeing this joke mangled into the nonsense form that is always posted here, so for future reference this is how it goes:

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A five-year-old boy goes up to his grandpa and asks "Can I have a dollar to buy some candy?" The grandpa replies "Can ...

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