A guy walks into the bar with his giraffe and they order a drink. They drink for a while but realize it's almost closing time and they start to do shots. The bartender is a bit worried and finally says okay guys last call. So the man says give us two doubles. He tips generously so the bartender pour...
A polygamist lion walks into a bar with 3 of his wives: a giraffe, an ostrich and a llama.
He walks up to the bar and asks the rhino bartender to recommend a beer.
Rhino: "Sure, we have lots of great choices on tap."
Lion: "C'mon man... Can't you see I prefer longnecks?"
A giraffe walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says “you want a longneck?”
The giraffe says “you mean I have a choice?”
A Texan buys a round of drinks for the entire bar, announcing that his wife has just gave birth to their first child "a typical Texas" baby boy weighing 24 pounds…
Congratulations showered him from all around, along with many exclamations of "Wow!"
Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answ...
Bubba n' Buford II
One day Bubba n' Buford were drivin' down the Farm to Market road in their pickup drinkin' Lone Star longnecks n' chillin' out to Bob Wills "San Antonio Rose" n' low n' behold, they come over a hilltop and there's a DPS roadblock a stoppin' folks. Thinkin' quick, Bubba pulls over to the side a the...