UPJOKE
cottontextilepaperplasticmontrealpajamasnightgownsintravenous linet-shirtrockethubcathetercardiologyvelcrodetroitbathrobe

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

The inventor of the Hospital Gown

Did you know the inventor of the hospital gown was Seymour Butts?

Hospital Gown

What do hospital gowns and insurance have in common?
You think youā€™re covered, but youā€™re not.
upvote downvote report

Help

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.

However, a student nurse found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, insisting didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rul...
upvote downvote report

As soon as they put me in that hospital gown...

I knew my end was in sight.
upvote downvote report

A hypochondriac goes to his doctor

Hypochondriac: Doctor, I have no idea whatā€™s wrong with me but Iā€™m in pain everywhere on my body. My stomach hurts. My bones and joints hurt. Iā€™m always nauseous. I always have a splitting headache. Iā€™ve come to you for years and you keep telling me thereā€™s nothing wrong but I FEEL like there is som...
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A man is laying in a hospital bed...

He has just taken a few tests, to find out what is wrong with him. He is feeling pretty awful, so he has an IV, and oxygen mask, etc. So the nurse walks in to see if the man needs anything.

ā€œWould you like anything?ā€ She says.

The man says, ā€œYes, are my testicles black?ā€

The n...

A man goes into the hospital for surgery.

The receptionist leads him to his room, gives him his hospital gown, and shows him how to put it on. She says to him, "Take off all your clothes, put on your gown, and the doctor will be in shortly."

"Ok," the man says. The receptionist leaves, and he proceeds to get undressed. The man is ...
upvote downvote report

One day a man got a flat tire...

... right in front of an insane asylum. "Dagnabbit!" he cursed as he pulled a jack and a tire iron from his trunk. Just then he noticed a man in a white hospital gown staring at him from up on a hill behind the wrought iron bars.

The driver set about his task. He popped the hubcap off, loose...
upvote downvote report

I used to work in a pub next to a hospital

and this guy walked in one day with his hospital gown on and holding a drip on a stand that was still connected to his veins. I asked him how I could help? and bizarrely he said can I have 2 pints of lager, 2 pints of Guinness, 4 jack Daniels and coke, 3 gin and tonics, and 6 shots of tequila. Itā€™s ...
upvote downvote report

A case of shingles

A good ole boy by the name of Bubba walked into a Doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.

Bubba said, "Shingles."

So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and as...
upvote downvote report

A man walks into a bar...

...wearing a hospital gown and attached to an IV drip.
He asks the barman to give him a double Vodka on the rocks.
Barman passes him one and he necks it back.
He asks the barman for another double Vodka on the rocks.
Barman passes him another and he necks it back.

'I really should...
upvote downvote report

After years of saving Saul finally had enough money to get his eye transplant in China

His wife was opposed to the idea on moral grounds. His brother was worried he might lose what little sight he had now. His friends were worried that what he was doing wasn't entirely legal.

He dismissed them all one by one and finally bought his ticket and set off with grim determination. <...
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A guy walks into a doctors office

for his appointment. Waiting in the the lobby, his name is called. He then follows the nurse into the examining room. She instructs him to remove his cloths and put on the hospital gown, then leaves the room.

After a few minutes of waiting, thereā€™s a knock on the door, and the doctor walks in...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information