A few years ago I started a journal of different rocks I've found in the wilderness. For a while I was stuck with 68 entries, until I finally found number 69...


Why does everyone love The Rock?

Because he is so gneiss.

A Geologist from Alabama could tell you the chronological order of Sandstone Layers, but not their exact ages

You could see they're into Relative Dating.



I know you expected that punchline. My apologies, when I'm under pressure my sediment jokes turn a little schist.

Please stay gneiss in the comments.

What rock is a 6.9 on the Mohs Hardness Scale?


Some people hate geology jokes,

but I think they're pretty gneiss.

If the Rock had a brother and that brother had a daughter, what would that make her?

His gneiss.

What’s step one to wooing a geologist?

Make sure you smell gneiss

A rock walks into a bar

The bartender tells him "we don't serve your kind here"

So the rock says: "Why not? I'm a gneiss guy!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just got out of my Geology class.

We studied metamorphic rocks which was Gneiss.

A high schooler told his geology teacher that..

"geology rocks!"

The teacher's response?

"that's Gneiss, but it's too bad you're so schist at it"


Did you know that Santa Claus is both an arborist and a geologist?

He's gonna find out what's knotty or gneiss.

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