The U.K. government have predicted that Scotland could become a “third world country” if they gain independence.

I don’t know if things will improve to that extent but fingers crossed for them.

A football player asked his wife if she ever cheated on him

This is translated from Arabic, I don’t know if it’s going to be funny as in Arabic but I’ll try my best *fingers crossed*

A football player once asked his wife if she ever cheated on him, she answered with “yes, three times.” He then asked “Ok, tell me about the first time.” She said, “Do y...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tale of two worms

Maggie and Magnus were worming out and about when they came to a river, and saw they had just missed the boat. To make matters worms, they couldn’t dig their way under the river. Maggie wanted to turn around, but Magnus said there was a bridge nearby, and insisted a bridge isn’t a dime a dozen, and ...

I hope my girlfriend likes this new, quirky method that I've devised to pleasure her.

Fingers crossed.

Good Friend!

My friends been unwell, took some DVD's, and some ready meals....fingers crossed he's too ill to notice they've gone!!!

A priest was driving and gets stopped for speeding.

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, “Father, have you been drinking?”

“Just water,” says the priest, fingers crossed.

The trooper says, “Then why do I smell wine?”

The priest looks at th...

Stellar black holes are formed by the collapse of a massive star.

Fingers crossed it's James Corden

The Way Women Think

Husband's Message (by text):

"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a co...

My grandmother loves to knit but she was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.

She’s holding out for some sort of cure. She has her fingers crossed.

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