Crying Baby Jokes - 9 Hilarious Crying Baby Jokes

A young mother was trying to breastfeed her 2 years old crying baby on a bus on her way home.

''Oh John, come on. Not now! If you
don't open your mouth ..." She glanced at an old man sitting right next to her and whispered under her breath ''I will nurse the old man!"

But the baby kept crying and whining.

''John. Stop crying. Or I'll nurse the old man! Now open your mouth!"...

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a crying baby.

Apparently that's not allowed if it's yours.

A mother takes her crying baby to the hospital.....

The doctor gets out his little exam light and ends up pulling a Lima bean out of the kids left ear, a baby carrot out of one nostril, a Skittle and two peas out of the other nostril and a hunk of pear out of the kids' right ear.

The mom cringes as she watches all of this, then asks the doctor...

At a rally today Donald Trump ordered the secret service to remove a crying baby.

They had him halfway to the curb before realizing the error.

My Wife Handed Me A Crying Baby and Asked Me To Change Him.

So I drove to the Hospital and asked for a replacement.

I've asked a flight attendant to change my seat because of crying baby next to me

It turns out you can't do that if baby is yours.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy takes his best mate home to meet his wife:

His wife holding a crying baby in one arm screams,"You fucking dickhead, my hair and make-up are a mess, the house looks like a garbage can, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my night clothes, I can't be bothered to cook and it's my time of the month!. Why the fuck did you bring him home? The hus...

A midwife calls a doctor

“Doctor she’s been in labor for 36 hours we need to do a c section.”
“Not so fast,” says the doctor “there’s one more thing to try”

He goes to the obviously pained mother to be and says “what do you call maids in space.”

After the woman gives him a blank stare the doctor says “Va...

Trump actually attended Biden's inauguration

He was the crying baby you heard right before Biden took his oath

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