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Candlelit Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As I looked into her eyes across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies...

That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!

A woman goes to a fortune teller As they sat there in the candlelit tent, the mystic waved her hands around the crystal ball, divining the woman’s future. Suddenly, the sooth-sayer’s hands went to her face and a gasp of horror escaped her mouth.

“I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’ll be blunt.” the fortune teller says. “You need to prepare yourself to become a widow. Your husband will be murdered in a manner most gruesome before the year is done.”

The woman was petrified, unable to process the information that’s been given to he...

My wife said she wanted a candlelit dinner.



But I'm pretty sure it would cook quicker in the oven.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Farmer Dave

Farmer Dave went to see his neighbor Dan one day and when he pulled up he was was suprised to not see Dan out in the field working.

So he looked around a bit and found Dan in the barn with some Rr&B playing and a candlelit dinner set out by the John Deere.

Dave asked what was going...

My girlfriend and I had a candlelit dinner last night.

It was a terrible idea, everything was undercooked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To all the single men out there - a warning

I'm telling you guys this story so you don't make the mistake I did.

I am a single guy looking for love, and yesterday I saw an ad in the 'Singles' section of the local newspaper that immediately grabbed my interest. It read like this:



*Single white female seeks male companions...

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