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Bellend Jokes

What do you call a Brit who struggles to use a zipper?

Bloody bellend.

So I just had a thought...

I just realised that "Kim" can be a short hand for "Kimberly." With that, I figured out Kim Jong Un's full name: "Kimberly Jong Unlikeable-Bellend."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s orange and smells like hippopotamus shit?

Zippy’s bellend.

What do Big Ben and the House of Commons have in common?

Both have a huge bellend swinging his weight around inside

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a pub..

And pauses. It's a really crappy place full of smoke and wood and the kind of men who look like they last moved during the second world war.

He walks up to the bar, and orders a pint. As he's drinking, he looks round and spots a huge jar behind the bar, with something long and pale and sausag...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and opens his suitcase revealing a million dollars in cash.

"I'll give this million dollars to the first person who can sing "Auld Lang Syne" and give me head at the same time."

Immediately people started a stampede, men, women and children all alike, towards the mans crotch. They whipped his dick out and started battling over who gets to do the "perf...

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