Why did Akbar didn't get accepted into Hogwarts?

Because he is a "Mughal"

Name your kid Allah Akbar

Then lose him in the mall

Alahu Akbar

A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. They started shouting at him saying "Alahu Akbar" and "Death to America". The man is a bit freaked out. When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and t...

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How can I make it appear big?

Plz Bare my grammatical errors, first time posting here and it's translated from Hindi


Akbar: birbal I think I have small dick how can I make it appear big?

Birbal: my lord shave you pubic hair, it tends to appear big and girls like it more that way.

So Akbar shaves his ball...

Is Allahu Akbar a good pickup line?

From what I hear, it's always getting guys blown.

1st post ever

knock knock
who's there ?


owl


owl who


owl who akbar

A joke I heard from my pastor last sunday

A Buddhist, a Muslim and a Christian quarrels over whose god is the most powerful. They eventually decided to have a competition by showing that their god can save them from a grave danger.

So they all went to the edge of a cliff. The buddhist said "I will jump off this cliff but as I call t...

A Muslim walks into a bar...

Allahu Akbar.

I have a Muslim friend with a Note 7...

It only gets awkward when he shouts "Allahu Akbar" when plugging it in.

A magician says to his audience...

A magician says to his audience "I can make myself appear in 100 different places in this room". He says "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Nothing happens so he tries once again, "3, 2, 1, Abracadabra!" Still nothing happens. Flustered he asks to be excused while he checks his handbook. He closes the book and...

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What does Allahu Akbar actually mean?" I asked Muhammad at work today.

"It has two meanings," he replied, "The first meaning is 'God is Great'".

"And the second?" I asked

"Run like fuck!" Muhammad smiled.

Not for you

A Christian Armenian man walking by the border of Armenia and Iran sees a few Iranian men pushing a car stuck in a ditch. Every time the Iranian men push they yell allah akbar! 1.. 2... 3... Allah akbarrr! As the Armenian man joins in pushing the car, the Iranians are surprised to hear the Christian...

If the ISIS decided to suicide bomb in Hawaii

will they shout "allahu akbar" or "aloha akbar?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Told to me by my Muslim father

A Sheikh is sleeping with one of the women in his harem, when she says, "Sheikh, could you put it in my mouth?"

The Sheikh denies, saying "I cannot, for your mouth is where 'Allahu Akbar' comes from".

She nods, understanding.

A little bit later she says, "Sheikh, could you pu...

My father died on 9/11, I will never forget his last words

Allahu Akbar.

[Do keep in mind that this is not my joke, I just want to spread laughs]

What does a hawaiian terrorist say?

Aloha akbar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once upon a time...

...there lived a great ruler in India, Emperor Akbar. This great emperor had the most beautiful wife in all the realms.

At the palace, there lived a certain Ahmed who was a low-ranking official. He took a liking to the queen, and his greatest desire was to kiss the queen's gorgeous breasts....

A few days ago i saw an amazing magician...

When he opened his jacket and screamed Allahu Akbar he disappeared along with 30 others.

What came before the Big Bang?

"Allahu Akbar!"

Traffic Lights..

I was sitting at a traffic light yesterday, minding my own business
patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no
on-coming traffic.
A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting Anti-American
Slogans, with a half-burned American flag duct-taped on the side of the...

Knock knock

-Who's there?

-Ala

-Ala who?

-AKBAR

Explosive knock knock joke

"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Allah"
"Allah who?"
"ALLAHU AKBAR!"

"Mommy, why is my backpack so heavy?"

Allahu Akbar, honey.

Three Terrorists apply for ISIS ...

* First Terrorist enters the job interview:

Q: Name?

A: Mohammed.

Q: Biggest accomplishment?

A: Robbed a Bank, killed 2 Officers.

Q: How many Letters are in the Alphabet?

A: 26.

* Second Terrorist enters:

Q: Name?

A: Ibrahim.

Q: B...

Me: Knock knock

Friend: Who's there?

Me: Allah

Friend: Allah who?

Me: You're expecting me to say allahu akbar, don't you? But it doesn't make sense because muslims don't great each other that way and a terrorist wouldn't bother to knock on the door. In any case, why are you expecting a joke abo...

An Omegle conversation

Me: My dad died on this day in 2001, he called me to say 2 words before dying.
Stranger: Ohh, that's so sweet! What were his words?
Me: Allahu Akbar

What was the last thing the Australian terrorist said.

KoALLAH AKBAR.

Jafar

my name is jafar

i come from afar

there's a Note 7 in my car

allahu akbar

What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus?

"Allahu Akbar!"


I'm going to hell for this.

CNN & NBC news report (political humor)

*Breaking news*

A man has killed twenty people today in a walmart with a gun. The man has been identified as muhammed takbir muhammed. He is an unemployed son of a family that immigrated to the united states ten years ago from Afghanistan.

Multiple witnesses say the man was yelling "A...

What did the ghost say during its planned act of terrorism?

Allaboo Akbar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pay your dues on time...

Legend says that one of the Mogul King Akbar’s wives, Mariam, was a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Raja Todermal was obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try.

One day Raja Todermal revea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I went to get a protein snack in Iraq...

But they only had fucking allahu akbars

A islamic dial ripoff made a new type of hand soap.

Aloe Akbar.

There was an explosion at my favorite restaurant last night.

News reports say that someone ordered the "chicken a la Hu-akbar."

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