UPJOKE
calendarevenoddomenanno domini02011010110311110

0.666

... beware the number of the millibeast.

Floor 13 may be haunted, but floor 666...

...is a whole different storey.

If the number 666 is considered evil

..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?

13: “I’m the number everybody hates”. 666: “No way, I am the number everybody hates”.

2020: “lol”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked a Chinese girl for her number.

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free Sex Tonight!". I said, "Wow, you're easy". Then her friend said, "she means 666-3629".

If 666 is the mark of the beast...

... and the beast is pure evil wouldn't 25.8069758011278803 technically be the root of all evil?

TIL - as of 2019, Halloween has not fallen on Friday the 13th for the last 666 years

This is probably because Halloween is October 31st

Apparently, the year 666 was cursed

Everyone that was born that year is dead !

666 is the Number of the Beast

This from Todd Lewis, who has a great sense of humor.

We all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast.

But did you know that:

* $666.95 - Retail price of the Beast
* $699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% sales tax
* $769.95 - Price of the Beast with all...

Set your WiFi password to 2444666668888888

So when someone asks, tell them it's 12345678

In my credit card statement there was an extra 666$ charge written in tiny fonts ...

As usual, the devil is in the details ...

We all know that Barney the Dinosaur is a LOVABLE PURPLE DINOSAUR.

In ancient Rome, there was no letter U, so they used a V instead, making Barney a LOVABLE PVRPLE DINOSAVR.

Now eliminate all the letters that are not Roman numerals. We are left with LVL VL DIV.

Next, let's refresh your brain. I=1, V=5, L=50, D=500.

When we add it all up, we get...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I did the math on Hurricane Florence rain fall...

There is predicted to be 17 Trillion gallons of rain falling from Florence.

The width of a milk jug is 5.5"

Rain x Width = 93 Trillion inches

93 Trillion divided by 12 gets you 7,791,666,666,666 Feet

Divided by 5280

1,475,694,444 Miles

Divided by 93,000,000 ...

What road did Satan take on his road trip?

Route 666

Calling the devil

Which number calls the devil faster than 666

It's easy you just say 10

Why did the Satanist Unix Cult never perform executions ?

Because the permissions were 666

[oc] Why was the devil exercising so hard?

He wanted to get a 666 pack.

Why can't you eliminate Satan from Linux?

Because 666 isn't executable.

My boss keeps asking me to cut my hair. I keep telling him it is part of my religion

I worship the Metal Gods.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese man dies and goes to hell

He arrives in time for Hell orientation. As he walks into the orientation room, he looks around and finds an empty seat and sits down. The orientation staff woman starts off the meeting with a roll-call:

"Do we have Mr. Johnson present?"

"Here," says a man.

"Mr. Smith?"
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the hottest album in hell right now?

Views from the 666

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked a Chinese girl for her number...

I met a Chinese girl, she was cute and we started to kiss.

So I asked her for her phone number.

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

So I said, "Wow! I'm ready! Let's fuck!"

The Chinese girl got really offended and slapped me in the face.

Then her friend ...

The scariest book of all time!! [LONG]

There once lived an author named Mr. Troller. He was infamous as the writer of the scariest book ever. Only three people ever bought his book and after reading his book , all the three guys passed away . The reason nobody bought his book was because it was damn expensive ($150,000) and nobody wanted...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.