Which is ironic since historically Lincoln doesn't do too well in theaters
I decided to freeze myself at-275.15 degrees Celsius..
My friends think I'm crazy, but I'll be 0K
LONG : An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.
Looking at the shiny car ,the old man asks the doctor "What ya driving there sonny?
The doctor replies, “1500+hp Porsche. It cost half a million dollars!
'Why does it cost so much?' Says the old man.
'Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!' state...
A pilot's flying a small, single-engined charter plane with a couple of really important execs on board.
He's coming into Seattle airport, only there is thick fog, less than 10ft of visibility, and his instruments are out. So he circles around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he's pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. At last, in a small opening in the fog, he ...
Funny (true) story
I drove 250 miles to see my son and his family over Christmas. He knows he's getting my car when I die (I'm terminal, but no telling when) so he checks it out every time he sees it. It's well taken care of; 275,000 miles and I keep it spotless and running perfectly.
He was checking the oil, a...
"Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully,"
the divorce court judge said, " and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week. ". "That's very fair, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself. "
A couple years back, I stumbled on a surprising reference to the astonishing longevity of Aboriginal shamans living in the Australian outback. Reliable birth records aren't available before the early 20th century, but government officials have noted an astounding number of nonagenarians and centenar...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The name's Brown, B-R-O-W-N
A Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, "Howdy, ma'am. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6' 6", 275 pounds, white from the top of mah head to the tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish."
Well, she didn't know what else to do, so she took his ...
Bob is throwing a party
He decides that to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what their I.Q. is. Hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there. The day of the party rolls around, and when the first guest knocks on the door, Bob asks the person what her I.Q. is. "275" came the reply. "W...