10000 Jokes - 44 Hilarious 10000 Jokes

Man paid 100 dollars to attend seminar called "How to make 10000 dollars in five minutes"

He enters the hall. There's about one hundred people in the audience. The presenter walks up to the mic, says "Approximately like this" and leaves.

Why does 100 think its 10000?

It missed the point.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man bets his boss 5000$...

that he (the boss) has a pimple on his ass.

"No way!" - says the boss and accepts the bet.

He opens his ass to show to the man. The man says: "It's too dark here, move to the window so I can see better". The boss moves to the window. "Ok, you were right, there is no pimple on your ass"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Typical Men

There onced lived a rich man who wanted desperately to get married. So in order to determine a suitable wife he selected 3 women who he found attractive and gave them each $10000 to do as they please. The first woman spent her $10000 on a makeover and went to the man. She said "i spent the money on ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend asked me if I'd lick his dog's asshole for $10000

I said that's a very tempting offer, but unfortunately I don't have $10000.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a man fucks 10000 other men, where will his name go?

In the Gayness book of world records.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Velma and Shaggy, your in the final round and this is the £10000 question, name a animal that has a single horn

"RHINO!"

Yes Scooby Doo, I know you know but you were knocked out in the last round.

A frog goes into a bank...

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $10000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is M...

My mother-in-law has been abducted in Argentina. When the kidnappers called me, I asked if $10000 would be ok.

They said they didn't have so much money.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wealthy arab guy was very sick

and he needed a blood transplant for an operation, but he had a very rare blood type. Luckily, there was a jew guy with the same type of blood. The arab guy asked the jew but the jew told him that he must ask a Rabbai first. The Rabbi told him that it was okay to do that. After the operation's succe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two people make a bet..

Long
(this is a translation from another language)
In the Royal court of King Akbar, there were two exceptionally skilled men, Birbal known for his wits, and Tansen known for being the best singer.
So one day Birbal was bragging about how smart he was, then Tansen challenged Birbal that if...

A couple were living together after five years of being together

One day the girlfriend is in the kitchen and on top of the fridge she finds $10000 and four eggs. She is baffled by what the money and eggs would be doing there, so she goes and asks her boyfriend about it. “Hey baby, why is there $10000 and four eggs on the fridge?” Her finding it jolted him. “Oh. ...

MI6, CIA and KGB are competing against each other...

Last competition. The mission is to find a bear in a 10000 sq/km forest
MI6 goes first. Using dogs and 1000 agents they have found a bear in 12 hours.
CIA goes next. Using satellites and heatvisors they found a bear in 6 hours
KGB goes last. Two agents enters a forest and came out of it ...

Honest Judge

Taking his seat in his chambers, the smart, *HONEST* Judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So", the Judge said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers became uncomfortable.

"You, attorney David, gave me $50000 and you, attorney Goliath, gave me $6000...

I drink beer because I'm too lazy to walk

They say you should walk 10000 steps, the AA only requires 12

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cut 100 Trees And No One Will Call You Woodcutter,

Cut 1000 Trees And No One Will Call You Woodcutter,

Cut 10000 Trees And No One Will Call You Woodcutter,

But Fuck One Sheep...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A translated joke

A man approaches a pig farmer and asks him what he feeds his pigs.

The farmer answers: "Oh the pigs? I just feed them whatever trash I have lying around".

The man is shocked, he says "Sir that is animal cruelty! I'll have to fine you 10000$!"

The next day another man approaches ...

A man walks into a store.

He asks the clerk “what range of brains do you have” and responded “we have a German brain which is 2000, the Australian brain which is 4000 and and a American brain which is 10000”, he then goes on to ask why the American brain is so expensive and the clerk replies, “it’s never been used before”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Usas government noticed that their army has too many generals.

So they decided to call over every over 60-year old general to the Pentagon for retirement. The government decided to measure the amount of money to the severance pay by measuring the length between two different body parts. The generals would get 10000$ for every centimeter.

The first genera...

In love and war.

A couple is going through a bitter divorce. The mans prize possession: baseball collectibles valued at $10000. Everyone knows, his spouse is entitled to half, in lieu of splitting his prized collection, he offers 8k cash. Out of spite she denies the offer and insists the collection be split. She too...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Captain's cabin broadcast:

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome you again on board. Currently, we are flying over the Atlantic ocean, our height is 10000 meters and our speed is 900kph. Air temperature... shit! Fuck! Oh my god! No!

Captains go silent. Passengers are white as chalk, panic, scream...

A mi...

BuzzFeed vs. Reddit war (reworked joke for the situation)

BuzzFeed and Reddit were at war.

BuzzFeed was on one side of a hill and Reddit was on the other side.

Reddit yells: I only have 1 meme over here but i bet it can beat your best 100 memes.

BuzzFeed send their best 100 memes. After some time Reddit yells back: Send your best 1000...

A pun contest...

A man's newsletter tells him about a pun contest they are holding. The person who submits the best pun will win $10000. The man thinks,
*I could really use that money!*
So he decides he will submit some puns. In the hopes of winning the $10000, he submits 10 puns in one letter. He hoped and pr...

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and posted on Facebook that I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive.

10000 random Muslims have now added me as a friend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer and his best friend go to the city to get laid.

They walk into a club, the farmer finds a cute girl, and he starts sweet talking her.

Unimpressed, the girl says "I'll only go out with you if you have a 2000 acre farm, 10000 cows, and a 7 inch dick.

The farmer dies inside, and walks back to his friend. The friend asks "What happened?...

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

10001.

1 to hold the lightbulb.

10000 to turn the house around.

A blonde goes to court

A blonde goes to court.

Eventually the judge says: “I hereby declare the case closed. There is not enough evidence that you stole the 10000 US$.”

The blonde is thrilled: “Gosh, so does that mean I can keep the money?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife...

...are travelling through the country. The husband sees a sign on the side of the road, "Cow for sale. $10000." He says to his wife "That can't be right! No cow is worth $10000!" So he turns the car around and heads to the farm to check it out. He meets the farmer and asks "What makes your cow w...

A newfie was walking up the wharf with a small lobster in each hand.

He was half way up to his truck when he saw a fishery officer approaching him.
"Ha we got ya now buddy, that's a $10000 fine in each hand!" exclaimed the officer.
"Naw these aint no ordinary lobsters b'y, dese are me pet lobsters!" George said calmly.
"I takes em for a dip here e'ry day ...

What did the right hand smart watch say to the left hand smart watch?

"You get your 10000 steps today? I'm about to break a new record." The left hand smart watch replies "not one step yet, only web browsing."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Talented Pets

A tramp goes into a bar and says to the barman 'Gimme a shot of your finest whiskey and I'll show you something amazing.'

The barman agrees and the tramp pulls out a hamster from his pocket and puts it on the piano stool. The hamster then begins to play the most incredible music that anyone i...

COOL HUSBAND :D :P :)

Husband & wife went to Jerusalem. Wife died there.

Priest: "Sending her body home would cost you $10000.... but... burial here at this holy city would cost just $100".

Man:"........ I'll take the body home!!!"

Priest:" Why the costly option?"

Man: " Jesus was buried ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man and his lawyer have a meeting with an IRS agent.

They sit down in his office as the agent pulls out the man's tax records. "it says that the majority of your income is made by gambling, how do you manage that?". The man replies "I'll show you; I will bet you $1000 that I can bite my own eyeball." The agent thinks a minute and then agrees to the be...

For the win

A man received a call from the local TV-station. He had signed up for a contest a few days ago and now he was informed that he had been chosen as a potential winner. The price was $10000. The task was simple: reach the TV-station within 15 minutes to win the price. Having just lost his job and with ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cowboy gets into a brothel

He goes to the owner, hands her $10000 and asks her:

"I want the ugliest, nastiest girl you have here. I also want scrambled eggs."

The owner is baffled at such a weird requests, and tries to argue:

"For this much money, you can have the triplets who were bikini models for the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An extremely handsome man was into a bar

An extremely handsome man was into a bar, wearing a 10000 dollar suit, and women clinging to each arm. Everyone turned heads as he approached the bartender. He takes a fat wad of cash from his pocket and throws it on the table. "Drinks on me!". He exclaimed and everyone cheered. Everyone flocked ...

What to say while drunk!

A husband wakes up with a hangover. He opens his eyes n sees aspirins and water.

He sits down & sees his clothes all clean & pressed....

He takes the aspirin & finds a note "Honey, breakfast is on table, I left to buy groceries. Love you"

Totally shocked,

He g...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wins an online contest but enters the wrong email address to access the code.

He realizes that his account is on yahoo instead of gmail and now someone else has received the code to access the $5000 prize. He drives to his office disheartened and asks his secretary if he should just send an email to the account requesting the person to forward the code. Then his frustration i...

3 men in hell

One day in hell the devil gets bored, so he decides to try something new. He takes three men who just arrived, and tells them "I'm going to lock you three in separate rooms for 10000 years, you all get to choose one thing to have an unlimited amount of in your room. So what will it be?" A little puz...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wins an online lottery of $5000 but finds out her entered the wrong email address.

He comes home disappointed and tells his son to send an email kindly requesting him to transfer all the money to his account, since he is the rightful recipient of the cash prize. However, his panic attack kicks in as he realizes he probably won't accept their request, and he tells his son to just s...

There once was a cheerio...

There once was a cheerio who lived on plain cheerio island. He lived his life working 16 hours, 7 days a week, trying just to make ends meet. But all of this was pointless; he was not going anywhere in life. He would never end up with the prosperous cheerios on Frosted Cheerio island - or so he thou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gambling problem.

So there's an 80 year old man who one day gets a call from the IRS.

IRS: hello sir we've noticed large amounts of money moving into and out of your account and I need you to come down for a meeting tomorrow and explain some things or we may have to perform an audit.

The old man agree...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The golfer and the leprechaun

An American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Barry got work as a sailor.

Barry got a nice sweet gig working on a boat, but the downfall was that they where six months at sea at time.

It was alright they pay was worth it but at the end he was horny as hell .
So as soon as they docked he quickly went to the most seedy bar he could find. When he arrived he quickl...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.