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Wind Down Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes I like to wind down the windows of my car, and sing at the top of my lungs to strangers walking by.

I was never meant to be a hearse driver.

Three guys are driving through the desert in an old Jeep when it breaks down 50 miles from the nearest watering hole.

Guy 1 claims “it’s only 50 miles to water, grab what we need to protect us from the heat and let’s walk” he gathers up a water container and car seat blanket and sets off.

Guy 2 thinks for a while and then decides to follow, so he grabs an old umbrella from the trunk and follows guy 1, please...

You are lying on your deathbed

Your family and loved ones surround you, supporting you. You feel reassured, ready to move on, as your wife pulls the plug on life support.

As the machines wind down... you dont die. Your family is ecstatic, the doctors are bewildered. They all cry, saying it is a miracle.

Two hours l...

It is really sad what is happening to the local businesses around our town.

The bra manufacturer has gone bust;
the specialist in submersibles has gone under;
the manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation;
a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers;
the suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded;
the Heinz factory has be...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW A blonde has been out for cocktails with her friends. She drives off and is speeding down the Interstate, when she hears the wail of a siren & then sees the blue & red lights in her mirror. The police wave her down. So she takes the exit, parks and the police car pull up behind.

The cop nudges his partner and says "She's a blonde, just watch this"
He walks up to her car and indicates for her to wind down her window. She does so.

Cop: "Ma'am, any idea what speed you were doing?"

Blonde: "How would I know that?"
Cop: "The speedometer Ma'am.
Blonde: "Wh...

So I was at a party some years ago with my new watch.

Unfortunately while I was there I found that ny watch had been stolen. I searched the party for hours trying to find, I was going completely mad. As the party started to wind down I began to lose hope of ever finding. Until I saw some douchebag harassing a some random girl, he was grabbing her arm, ...

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first scientist says "I'll have some H20."

 

The second scientist says "I'll have a glass of water, too. But really? Why did you say H20? Like I get that it is the chemical formula for water and all, but it is the end of a really stressful day at work and there's real...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are driving through a desert.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are driving through a desert when their car breaks down. They decide they must walk across the desert. The Englishman takes an umbrella out of the boot and begins walking. The Irishman takes out his flask, fills it with whisky and follows the Englishman. The...

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