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Wilk Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex Position #189 "The John Wilkes Booth" (NSFW)

You blow a load on the back of someone's head in a movie theater and try to escape before you get caught.

[NSFW]What do John Wilkes Booth and Pee-Wee Herman have in common?

They both shot someone in the back of the head in a theater.

In all seriousness, godspeed, you lovable oddball.

Have you guys scene the new john Wilkes booth movie?

I’ve heard it’s mind blowing.

John Wilkes Booth

John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theatre."


Fiancee: "Break a leg!"

What do John wilkes booth, lee harvey oswald and kobe bryant have in common?

They never miss a shot

What do John Wilkes Booth and Taylor Swift have in common?

they both know how to get a crowd going

Why does John Wilkes Booth get all the best acting jobs?

He has all the best headshots.

(Credit to my friend Isabella)

Why did a time traveller kill John Wilks Booth?

Because he was trying to kill the precedent

Civil War spoilers

Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth.

What’s the difference between Abraham Lincoln’s killer and where Keanu Reeves sits at a restaurant?

One is John Wilkes Booth, and the other is John Wick’s booth.

I went through the Lincoln tunnel today and I gotta say, I’m not ok with the name of where you pay your toll…

…The “John Wilkes booth”?!?!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lincoln, a biopic on Abraham Lincoln was a commercial success.

Ironic considering the circumstances of his death. Although it made a lot of money, a movie on John Wilkes Booth would be a box office killer.

That pro-crime culture is getting ridiculous!

My little brother's teacher asked "Who shot Abraham Lincoln?". He answered "John Wilkes Booth", and the next recess, his locker had "STOP SNITCHING" painted on it.

I heard Abe Lincoln was having a fine old time at Ford's Theater...

that is until he asked John Wilkes Booth for a headshot.

4th of July Alcohol puns: American Heroes edition.

So this all started with Abraham Drinkin.

Help us come up with more. It has to be a character from American History to celebrate today as well as some sort of alcohol theme.

Here's what we have so far (some are better than others) :

Abraham Drinkin

John Wilkes Booze
...

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