An old ukranian man once told me

“I can count the number of times i’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand son”

“How many times?” I asked

“14 , it’s 14”

An Englishman, a Scottish man, and an Ukranian man all walk into a pub with their wives.

They all sit down and order a cup of tea. The Englishman looks to his wife and says “could you pass the honey, honey?” The Scottish man thinks to himself how clever that was, then turns to his wife and says “could you pass the sugar, sugar?” The Ukranian man - not wanting to be out witted by the oth...

My neighbour used to sell Ukranian eggs.

If you don't know what those are, it's when you draw on eggs with wax and then soak them in coloured dyes to create special designs. It's an art form called Pysanky - you should look it up.


He used to sell them out of a little stall in his front garden. I never really saw many people bu...

A Ukranian boy and his father went out for a walk.

"Dad?" The boy asks. "Is it true that there was an accident at Chernobyl in 1986?" "Yes, there was," the father replies, patting his head. "And is it true that there were no consequences?" The little boy asks. "Absolutely," the father replies, patting his son's second head. And they strolled off to...

What did Putin tell the Ukranian government when he invaded western Ukraine?

Crimea river.

Why should you never wear Ukranian underwear?

Chernobyl Fallout.





An elderly friend told me this joke, just thought I'd traumatise people with it too.

Why is it a bad idea to wear tiny shorts on a Ukranian holiday?

Chernobyl fallout.

90 Year old Ukranian man told me this one:

Three men die of natural causes and are in line at the pearly gates, waiting to hear if they will be saved or damned. When the first man gets to the front of the line Saint Peter says to him "You have been single all your life, so you will go to hell because your life was like heaven". The second ma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

American and a Ukranian

An American and a Ukranian in front of the urinals. The American pulls out his huge cock and says proudly to the Ukranian: Buffalo Bill!
The Ukranian pulls out three enormous cocks and says: Chernobyl!

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