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Me after my 6th tequila shot

My brain: What u doing?
My stomach: What u doing?
My liver: What u doing?
Me to my ex: What u doing?

How does Harry Potter order tequila shots?

“Patron us!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar and orders three tequila shots...

The bartender gives it to him and he slams them all down

“What’s the special occasion?” Says the bartender

The man replies “I just had my first blowjob.”

“Wow, that's a great achievement for a young man like yourself!” Says the bartender “here’s one more on me!”

“No thank...

A drunk guy gets into a taxi..

-Ehh.. 'scuse me, driver... would it be okay if.. I left a few beers, some fried chicken, 2 tequila shots and some rice on your back seat?

-(confused)Ehm, sure.

*#vomits#*



Sorry people, I had to.

Two almonds

Two almonds walk into a bar. They order 20 tequila shots each.

Bartender says: "What are you guys, nuts?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bad, bad day

After walking into the bar with a very disturbed look on his face,a guy orders 4 tequila shots. He then proceeds to down all four of them immediately...

Bartender: "Wow, any man who drinks like that has a problem."

Guy: "You could definitely say that. I came home from work early today...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two business-types go drinking after work..

First guy says to the second "Man, I cannot get shit-faced tonight, my wife will kill me". They start off with beers, move on to mixed drinks and next thing you know, they're pounding tequila shots. First guy has had enough, runs to the bathroom and promptly pukes all over the place. He comes bac...

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