Skint Jokes

And he says to the barman ‘Can I have 11 pints of anything but Stella’.

Barman says ‘yeah sure mate but what’s the problem with Stella?’

The man says ‘well I had 11 pints of Stella last night and I was fucking skint the whole night’

Barman still confused says ‘yeah but 11 pints ... read more

The Englishman says to the Irishman, " listen paddy I wish I could stay out drinking with you but I'm skint."

Padd
y says, "aye George, I just spent my last few quid too.... but I've got an idea: go up and order two more drinks and a sausage and mash and tell them to put it on a tab." ... read more

Paddy says “I’ve an idear” and goes off and buys a sausage.
Murphy says “are ye mad? Now we’re skint!”
“Come on” says Paddy, “follow me”
They go into a pub, order two pints, and drink them.
Before they pay Paddy shoves the sausage through the zipper of his jeans and tells Murphy to get... read more

I remember when I first started using drugs. I was 18 years old.

It all started with a spliff, the odd bong or two, then before I knew it, I'd started using amphetamines like speed, then for a stronger buzz, I moved onto ecstasy.

It wasn't long after, that I started on the hard stuff... read more