Puerto Jokes - 32 Hilarious Puerto Jokes

Many Puerto Ricans are becoming Russian citizens...

so that they can vote in the American election.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't normally see eye to eye with most Trump supporters, but if there's one thing we do agree on...

It's that the president of Puerto Rico is the dumbest son of a bitch to ever hold public office.

My friend said he is 25% Puerto Rican...

So he calls him self a Quarto Rican.

Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...

Some people want Puerto Rico to become the 51st State...

I say let's do it, and find two more new states.

Then we'd have 53 states.

A nice PRIME number...

ONE NATION - INDIVISIBLE

If California splits into 3 states, we just need to make Puerto Rico a state.

We’d have a prime number of states and finally be “one nation, indivisible”

Why can’t Puerto Rican’s play hockey.

Because they would make Piaguas out of the ice.

How many Puerto Ricans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Does it matter? They still don't have power.

Why are Puerto Ricans & Mexicans discouraged from marrying each other?

Bc their kids will be too lazy to steal.

What is the Puerto Rican national anthem?

Partly in the USA

Why is there so little Puerto Rican literature?

Because the spray paint can wasn't invented until 1949.

A Puerto Rican meteorologist sought counseling.

When asked "why?" he replied, "Tropical Depression."

My grandparents are from San Juan, Puerto Rico, but the rest of my family is European.

I guess that makes me Quarter-Rican.

What do you call a hurricane that hits Puerto Rico?

A PR disaster

Last week, Puerto Rico's Governor said that they couldn't pay their debt.

From now on, the Island will be known as Puerto Pobre.

Heard something on NPR that made me come up with this joke....What do you call it when the President can send you to war but you can't vote for the President?

Puerto Rico.

How do you know if someone is Puerto Rican?

They tell you.

What do you call a Hispanic sniper?

A Puerto-recon.

A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a Romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.

The waiter stops them and says “Sorry, you can’t come in here without a Thai.”

Apple pie costs 2$ in Cuba

Pumpkin pie costs 3$ in Jamaica

Banana pie costs 2.5$ in Puerto Rico

These are the PieRates of the Caribbean

Three doppelgangers are hanging out together. One is Puerto Rican, one is a vegan, and the last one does crossfit. How do you know which is which?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New Treatment For Sunburn!

A guy visiting over here in Puerto Rico fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the sever...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very clean joke

A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. Africa...

So Donald Trump was talking to one of his aides, and off on one of his usual rants

“We need less immigrants! Less Mexicans! Less Colombians! Less Guatemalans! Less Puerto Ricans!”

Finally the aide couldn’t take it anymore, leaned in and said quietly: “fewer.”

“I told you not to call me that yet!!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman went to the gynecologist [NSFW]

A woman went to the gynecologist complaining she kept finding Puerto Rican stamps in her vagina.

The doctor says, “Ma’am, these are banana stickers.”

Shout out to my brother for this one.

Donald Trump was carrying a Colt 45

When asked why, he said it's just for shooting cans.... Africans Mexicans and Puerto Ricans

A reporter was interviewing Hurricane Irma.

Reporter: "Now that you've been to the Bahamas and Puerto Rico, where are you headed next?"

Irma: "IM GOING TO DISNEY!!!"

COVID Humor

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerato...

What's in a name Joke

A guy and his pregnant wife approach the clerk at a cheap motel. After being told there were no vacancies, the man pleads to the clerk, "my wife is pregnant, we drove all night to get here, and there is are no rooms available at any of the Inns".

The clerk looks at him suspiciously and says "...

One day a family of squirrels and a family of skunks are crossing the road...

...a car drives by and hits them. The only survivors was a baby squirrel and skunk and from that day on they became the best of friends. Years later, they're walking through the woods together:

Squirrel: Hey, have you ever wondered what we were?

Skunk: Yes, I have.

Squirrel: Ho...

The Skunk and The Duck

A family of skunks and a family of ducks were crossing the street... Because of the traffic a baby skunk and the baby duck had to stay on the other side of the road as they watched their families walk away. The duck and the skunk started to get upset because they didn't know who they were or what th...

On a warm summer morning, a family of ducks and a family of skunks are crossing a country road when...

without warning, a car barrels over a hill and into the path of the animals wiping out both families except for one baby duckling and one baby skunkling. The pair hightail it off the road and find refuge in a hole in a tree. They decide to stick together and support each other in order to survive. T...

Rich Man and the Ranch

A rich man owns a multi-million dollar ranch in Puerto Rico. One day, his ranch supervisor, Paco, calls him on the phone.
"Yes, Paco, what is it?" says the Rich Man.
"Well, Señor, I have some bad news. Your prize thoroughbred, he has died."
"My thoroughbred? I was going to make millions...

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