Polish Joke Jokes - 20 Hilarious Polish Joke Jokes

A Polish joke translated to english

Two guys were living in the same apartment building in identical flats. The first guy visits the second one and sees that he just painted his flat and it looks great.
"This looks amazing" the first guy says and asks how many cans of paint he bought. The second guy says he bought seven.
The nex...

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I want to try translating a Polish joke and see if it works. A few friends are drinking vodka in the kitchen...

And there are disgusting flies all over the room. They can hardly sip their drinks without these wretched flies getting in their cups, or worse, their mouths.

One man tells his friends he has an idea to get the flies to stop bothering them, but they need to avert their eyes.

A few minu...

A guy walks into a bar and begins to tell a Polish joke.

The bartender stops him and says "I'm Polish. You see the guy over there - he's the owner of this bar and he's Polish. You see these two big guys drinking beer beside you - they're Polish. You still want to tell your joke?" The guy thinks about it and says "No, I don't want to tell it anymore. No...

A Polish joke

A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb Polack by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:

"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to...

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Good Polish Joke

A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish vodka. As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish vodka. Since

I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."
...

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My attempt to translate an old Polish joke to English

> A policeman approaches a man drinking beer in park and asks him for his documents. Student hands him the documents and the policeman begins reading aloud:
> -ahh, I see we don't have a job.
> -no, we don't.
> -we're jerking around all day.
> -yes, we are.
&g...

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A Polish Joke: Translated

A novice pilot was flying over the Pacific when he was overcome with terror, and called the stewardess into his cabin.

\- Honey, in about 5 minutes we're going to crash and nothing I'm able to do to change the situation. Try, in a gentle way, to explain to the passengers.

The flight at...

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Loose translation of a Polish joke. Wife says to husband ...

Wife says to husband:

- You never take me to a club! Lets go this weekend!
- Naaah.. bad idea.
- Please! You never take me with you!
- Whateva... ok...

They go to the club, the bouncer at the door says:

- Hi Jack!

Wife looks at husband ...

another polish joke

why do polish people keep empty bottles in the fridge?
for those that don't want anything to drink

A great Polish joke

Guy goes into a bar, and a couple drinks in loudly announces to the bartender, "OK I'm going to tell you a great Polish joke!"

The bartender leans in and whispers, "watch it buddy, I happen to be polish, and while I got a sense of humor, about half the people in here are polish. you see that ...

A polish joke my grandpa told me: "What happened to the Polish dog?"

He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap

One of my favorite Polish jokes

A Polack goes to the eye doctor. The bottom line of the eye chart has the letters:
C Z Y N Q S T A S Z.
The Optometrist asks, "Can you read this?"
"Read it?" the Polack replies, "I know the guy."

Can you beat my top 3 Polish jokes?

>What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

>Did you hear about the Polish carpool?

They meet at work in the morning

>Did you heal about the Polish terrorist that tried to blow up the bus?

He burnt his lips on the ...

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No more Polish jokes folks.

All these Polish jokes here are very hurtful. Yesterday my friend who is Polish had read enough and tried to commit suicide by jumping out his basement window.

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A couple Polish jokes

A Polish man finds a lamp. Inside the lamp is a genie who is willing to grant the man one wish. The man ponders for a moment, then says "I wish China would invade Poland!"

Another man overhears and is extremely puzzled. "Why would you wish that? Are you not Polish?" he asks.

"Yes, " th...

My mother is Polish and my father was not, so growing up we heard a lot of Polish jokes from my father. All in good fun of course. Here is my favorite.

Yosh and Stosh decided they were going to take a vacation back to their native land Poland. So they’re on the plane halfway across the Atlantic and everything is going great when the captain makes an announcement over the intercom.

“Folks, were having a little trouble with on of the engines ...

I hate how politically correct things are these days. You can't even say the word stupid without people getting offended.

I started to tell a Polish joke to a group of guys and one of them said "Hey, I'm Polish and that joke offends me!" Fair enough I thought, no one likes to be stereotyped. So I swapped out the word "Polish" for "stupid" and started the joke over. Same guy got offended.

A granny walks in to a doctor's office with a toad on her head

A granny walks in to a doctor's office with a toad on her head.
"What's wrong?" asks the doctor-
"This massive wart grew out of my ass",
answers the toad

*Przyhcodzi baba do lekarza*, classic Polish joke

Two and one, or one and two?

This is an old polish joke, hope you guys enjoy.

Two men stand in front of the liquor store, and are having the following conversation:

"So how do we go about it, two and one or one and two?"

"I say two and one."

"You sure? I'm leaning towards one and two."

"Tw...

What's the difference between theory and practice?

Reading one of the posts currently in the front of /r/jokes reminded me of one of the Polish jokes about technical universities:

> We call something theoretical knowledge when things don't work correctly but everybody knows why.

> We call something practical knowledge when things...

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