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While on holiday in Thailand my friend met a stunning girl in a bar, so he plied her with alcohol to make his chances of getting a shag easier.

His plan backfired though. When they got back to his hotel she was too pissed to maintain her erection.

A physicist, an economist, and a mathematician decide to TP a house.

A physicist, an economist, and a mathematician decide to TP a house.

The physicist does some calculations and says, “We should buy 2-ply toilet paper in order to maximize kinetic energy.”

The economist thinks for a moment and replies, “But single-ply toilet paper would maximize the am...

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There's a party in the Olympic Village one night...

... and from across the room, a sprinter sees a diver talking to the most beautiful woman that he has ever laid eyes on. Later in the evening, the sprinter approaches the diver to ask about her.

"I just can't get her out of my head!" the sprinter says. "I have to sleep with her! Who is she?"<...

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HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,...

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