UPJOKE
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At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.

The drunk tried it and said, “It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acc...

Did you know Pinot Noir is actually spelled Pinot Noi?

There's technically Noir.

Riesling… Chardonnay... Merlot... Cabernet... Pinot noir…

Sorry, I don't know why I'm being so whiny this morning.

My girlfriend is like an 07 Nappa Valley Pinot Noir

Full-bodied and matured, pairs well with meat, and has a smooth, aromatic aftertaste

Have you guys tried out the new Mexican white wine yet?

It’s a Pinot Gringo

Can I see some ID?

*Disclaimer: I heard this joke from Joe Lycett, it's not mine*

I went to an off-license (a liquor shop) to get a bottle to celebrate my new house, and in the shop in front of me was a lad buying a 4-pack of lager beer. Behind the counter was a girl, maybe 18, 20, not much older, and she said ...

What's Waluigi's favorite wine?

Pinot Niwaaaaah!

What’s a pirate’s least favorite wine?

Pinot No Arrrghh

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Inner peace during these uncertain times

I heard a doctor on TV say to have inner peace during these uncertain times that we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house for things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Scotch, a bottle of Tequila, a...

Father O’Brien was driving home after lunch when a policeman pulled him over ...

Father O’Brien was driving home after lunch when a policeman pulled him over. “What have you been drinking?” asked the cop. “Only water,” replied the priest. “Then what’s that next to you?” said the policeman, pointing to the half-empty bottle of pinot noir in the passenger seat.

“Good Lord!...

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WHY PEOPLE HATE SCHOOL RE-UNIONS

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school.

They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in grey...

Tips for inner peace

Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Pinot Noir, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of Ba...

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Veteran Wine Taster

At a wine merchant's warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. He posted a sign at the entrance to the building... EXPERIENCED WINE TASTER NEEDED --POSITION STARTS IMMEDIATELY.

A retired veteran named "Ace," drunk and with a ragged dirty look a...

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